This week I did a call with a new client. He told me a friend was there and that they both wanted to talk to me. This was fine-while it’s rare to talk to two people at once, I’ve done it before. Usually though the friend isn’t really there and the guy is just pretending that his neighbor is fucking his ass while conveniently not talking to me on the phone.

He started describing how he was stroking his cock, getting it ready for his girlfriend. I played along. Then came a surprise- I heard someone talking in the background.

At first it’s just a murmured voice and I can’t identify the gender. Then he hands the phone over and I hear a woman’s voice say ‘hello’.

I quickly cover my surprise and ask her how she’s doing. She tells me her and her boyfriend are partying and want to tie each other up. This is easy territory for me and normally I enjoy bondage calls. Try as I might though my voice sounds flat and dull. Even if I smile it sounds like I’m not enjoying myself. Conversation feels like a struggle.

I try to tell myself she’s just another client. I’m an experienced pso but a woman’s voice makes me freeze. My inner critic is on a roll. It’s just another caller. Why am I fucking this up? Why is this a big deal? Why am I being such a dork?

I talk about sex with my female friends all the time. Hell, my first sexual experience was with a woman. I’ve even done double Mistress calls with a male caller. But a female client over the phone just clams me up. I knew I was being silly but couldn’t get over the awkwardness.

The woman is drunk and her words are slurring. She starts telling me about her kinks. I manage to throw in some ‘mmms’ and an occasional ‘hmm’. If she were sober the call would probably be a bust. But in her drunkenness she’s in the mood to talk and starts telling me about her dating history. This covers up the lack of insight on my part.

In the past she’s been kinky with other men. Most were weirded out about by her desire to get tied up and spanked. I manage to swallow my weirdness for a moment to reply to this thought. We talk about breaking the kinky ice to a vanilla lover. I counsel male callers about this very topic often and felt myself relaxing a bit once back on familiar territory.

Even so, I look over to the clock for the umpteenth time. About twenty minutes has passed. Her partner gets back on the phone. He gets a little bitchy and tells me not to get her talking. Instead I should tell her to do ‘kinky shit’.

His abrupt rudeness helps me calm myself. I feel more in tune with her. She needs to talk about her kinky history before doing anything that night. I need to talk to get over my uneasiness before I can start handing out instructions. He puts me back on the phone with his girlfriend. Naturally, I ignore his request. She goes on with her story and I let her. The more she talks the happier she sounds and the calmer I feel. Just listening takes the pressure off me to perform.

He eventually takes back the phone and tells me he wants to ‘get back to partying’. He says they’ll call me later but they never do.

That night I replayed this call over and over in my mind. What was up with me? One large factor was that they lived in my home state about two hours from my home town. They had the accents of people I grew up around. That was a little unnerving.

I once had a man call me who lived about an hour drive away from my parents. He was my father’s age and had an identical accent. While he was a really sweet man I couldn’t get over the similarity in voice to my dad. I never told him this and tried to be as pleasant as possible. He must have picked up on my hesitancy though because he eventually stopped calling.

Another factor I think is simple inexperience with women clients. My first pso call sucked. I was nervous, I didn’t know what to say, I tripped over my words. I’m so grateful the man was nice. He was a regular caller to the service and really walked me thru it. I think with more experience I can give good phone to women clients. Unfortunately, female callers are few and far between so practice will be slow.

Posted by Vixen in PSO Confessions