You have a very interesting blog. Keep it up.

Bummer that you have these problem people to deal with.

Unless you have major self-esteem or paranoia issues, if you get to the snooping-on-the-phone-bill or checking-their-email stages there must be something substantial to make you breach that trust barrier. Most people don’t wake up and say “ho-hum, I think I’ll rifle through my loved one’s personal details today”, it’s a very upsetting experience. You feel terrible for doing it but you have this gnawing dread and doubt inside you that won’t go away. Partly you’re hoping that there’ll be something perfectly innocent that will explain it away. And then inevitably you find something and you’re world drops away because even though you thought you were prepared for it, you really hadn’t actually given up on them yet. Then, having found this secret that they’d been keeping from you, your instinct is to devour it, to find out as much as you can about what they’ve been doing because you realise you have to make a judgement on it, or at least decide how you feel about it.

And also, since you know now they’ve been lying to you, you want to pull as much detail as possible to you - find out how many times and with who. So when you confront them, you’ll be slightly better able to know if they’re being honest - of if they’re trying to confess to as little as possible. Because you desperately want to trust them again.

So, I’d say that you’re extremely lucky to not understand why people do that.

Thankfully I don’t get calls like these too often.