Comments on: Sex Work And Honesty: Being Childfree

by: Eliot Bodem

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 08:25:28 -0600

Hey there! I came to this post thanks to the latest Sugasm. I, too, am childfree but I’m not a sexworker. However, I’ve had people insist that I’ll change my mind and it’s quite fucking annoying. I don’t think I’d have the temperance to handle those particular calls. But then I probably wouldn’t divulge my childfree status, though I understand the compulsion to do so. Some people just seem so deeply offended by my decision, as though it somehow affects them. But I don’t dare get offended by their decision to breed multiple times!

Anyway, sorry to rant, but I’m sure you understand. heh

Good post.

by: Lady Johanna

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:57:41 -0600

I’ve never understood people who want to argue on this topic.

IMO, there’s entirely too many people who *do* breed who ought not to. If I were going to argue with someone about whether they should have kids, I’d be more inclined to argue with some of those who *have* decided to.

If you’re not willing to pretty much dedicate your life to being a parent regardless of what else is going on in your life, to put the child *first* in all decisions, you ought not be having kids.

Doesn’t mean you might not like other people’s kids, and be a great aunt or uncle, a kewl babysitter, even work in a daycare or be a teacher.

You don’t have to dislike kids to know you don’t want to do it 24/7 for the next two decades - to make what is really an incredible commitment to a person you can’t even know in advance and may not even like.

I think those who are aware enough to know they don’t want to do this should be encouraged.

Frankly, more folks ought to really “count the cost” before they go popping them out just because it’s some “experience you’ll regret not having.” That’s an incredibly stupid and selfish reason to be having a baby.

I’ve run across the breeder fantasy too, and it just weirds me out. Some guy thought it’d be hot if I used him to impregnate my female submissives. While I’m kewl with whatever anyone fantasizes, I have to admit that one squicks me. IMO, any sub who’d allow such a profound decision to be made in scene like that as part of a fantasy would be inherently unqualified to be a parent.

by: SerpentLibertine

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 19:57:45 -0600

Yeah, I’m happily childfree and proud of it, but nothing irks me more when clients either ask if I have kids or ask incredulously, “…but don’t you ever want to have kids?” No I don’t. Never have, never will, never wanted to.

It’s like people can’t believe a woman wouldn’t want to have kids. or worse yet, they can’t believe a woman would be working in the sex industry without having kids to support. Luckily I’ve never run across the breeder fantasy, but I don’t even know if I could play along with that.

by: Aspasia

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 02:41:31 -0600

@SerpentLibertine: “or worse yet, they can’t believe a woman would be working in the sex industry without having kids to support.”

Exactly. Only extremely desperate women go into the industry and women w/kids and no way to support them are at their most desperate. On the one hand, I’ve had people say, “oh, you’re so pretty and smart and nice you should have children”. It’s a bit of a backhanded compliment. But the implication is that, “you’re a fool to waste what you have. what is wrong with you?”

by: Dick and Jane

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:46:46 -0600

Good for you. I like how you say “child-free” instead of “child-less”.

Jane

by: Vixen

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:44:07 -0600

Thanks everyone for your comments! I’m glad I posted this. Sometimes it feels like I’m one of the few childfree people out there so it’s good to know I’m not alone.

by: Becca

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 11:14:09 -0500

My sister in law once called me selfish for not wanting kids. That was 20 years ago and I’m still angry. Selfish because there are other ways I contribute/want to continue to contribute to the world besides adding to the world’s population?

Here are some selfish reasons for having kids:
1. I want someone to take care of me when I get old.
2. I want someone to love/to love me…or I want unconditional love.
3. It would help my marriage.
4. Oh, they’re so cute, I just have to have one! As if they’re possessions.

Sound familiar? How many people bear children for those reasons?

Hmm, I never thought of this: “bear” children is apropos.

-Becca