There’s a lot of good videos from the DC march for gay rights. But my favorite is the one above. The cast of Hair sings Let the sun shine in, one of my favorite songs.
Will Obama honor his promises to the gay community?
From the New York Times: Obama Pledges Again to End ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’
“President Obama on Saturday renewed his vow to allow gay men and lesbians to serve openly in the military, but failed to offer a timetable for doing so — an omission likely to inflame critics who say he is not fighting aggressively enough for gay rights.
(snip)
In the nine months since, Mr. Obama has made only limited progress on the issues that are important to gays. He has pushed for hate crime legislation, and a bill, approved in the House on Thursday, now appears headed for passage. He has put forth a package of domestic partnership benefits for federal workers, but faced criticism that the effort did not include health benefits. He has said he would push to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, which allows states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriages in other states, but it remains on the books.”
If he doesn’t I think he’ll lose a lot of support from the gay community come 2012. I hope DOMA gets repealed at the very least.
Sugasm #175 will be the last one for awhile. I don’t know how long the Sugasm will be on hiatus. I don’t own the domain and don’t know what Sam plans to do it. I’m just hanging up my editorial reins. Perhaps I’ll edit it again, perhaps not.
Sugasm submitters-I’d still like to stay in touch and network. Want to contact me? Email radicalvixenatgmaildotcom
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The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
Please note: After this issue the Sugasm will be going on indefinite hiatus. Please do not submit posts via the form until further notice. If you need to contact me email radicalvixenatgmaildotcom
This Week’s Picks Pitiful
“Sometimes I miss you so much that I am pitiful.”
MFM: Frustration
“I feel the weight of someone kneeling between my legs.”
“I just want you to kidnap me and keep me in your dungeon,” a client will tell me. This tells me that the call will likely be fun because kidnapping calls often are. The key is to mix enough realistic details into the fantasy to make it feel real. Since I have a handful of clients with this fetish I’ll just generalize them with a Kidnapping Client moniker.
To begin the fantasy I like to describe spying on KC for weeks before snatching them away. An imaginary friend who is a private investigator, and naturally a sexy woman, runs a background check on KC and give me a file thick with all his information. I want to know as much about my “victim” as possible.
In a rental car I drive by his home, work and hang out spots. I memorize his routine and know when he’s at his most vulnerable. The actual kidnapping scene usually goes one of two ways. Usually I’ll just grab him off the street. KC will come out of a building, usually his office, and I’ll simply grab him, throwing him into my car effortlessly. I’ll quickly tie him up and gag him before speeding away.
There’s a few guys that like me to kidnap them after a domination session. As soon as he arrives at my place I’ll order him to undress. He’s too turned on to notice that I take his clothes, shoes, wallet and keys to another room. I tie him up and use him according to his particular kink. Then I reveal that I’m not letting him go, that he has to stay with me forever.
Brainwashing and mind control often make their way into kidnapping fantasies. But those are a fetish in their own right so I’ll write more about them in a future Fetish Friday post. Reprogramming KC into thinking he’s my devoted slave is the key to keeping him trapped.
When KC is close to cumming is when I describe his new life as a kept slave. My fantasy dungeon is in a basement, has no windows and is completely soundproofed. Sometimes there’s one room, often there’s several. His entire purpose is to please me. Soon he forgets about his old life. I’ll rename him and give him a new identity.
The clients who have this fetish are almost exclusively married, have children and a stressful job. Often they feel trapped and unhappy in their lives but see no way of escape. That’s where I come in to whisk them away from their misery, if only for a short while. If a client frequently complains about his wife I’ll add her to the storyline. KC’s wife is overjoyed that he’s disappeared. She cashes in a big life insurance policy and soon finds a hot, younger stud to replace him. Often she’s been having an affair with this stud for years and can finally move him in now that KC is out of the way.
Interestingly, the holidays bring me the most kidnapping fantasies. I theorize that the holiday season is the one time my clients are socially forced to spend time with the people they manage to avoid the rest of the year. Everything around them is advertising happy holidays-tv and radio commercials showing cheerful families unwrapping presents around the Christmas tree etc. As a PSO I get to see the truth behind the happy society PR campaign. It’s one of my favorite perks of the work.
Last year author Anna Jane Grossman contacted me for an interview. She wanted to write about the decline of phone sex for her book Obsolete. She asked me several questions and now I’m quoted in Obsolete: An Encyclopedia of Once-Common Things Passing Us By. I’m on page 132. Neat!
Grossman gives definitions and anecdotes for her obsolete subject matter. Some of the items only have definitions. Here’s the definition for phone sex:
“Arousing conversations conducted via telephony, sometimes for a fee; born in 1875, with Alexander Graham Bell’s first words into a phone: “Mr. Watson, come here. I want you.”
It was a treat to see myself quoted in a book. One thing that irked me was that my quote sounds like I’m no longer a PSO. But she asked me the question “How would you describe your work to, say, someone living 100 years from now–someone who knows nothing about it?” So it made sense to describe myself in the past.
Is phone sex becoming obsolete because guys can get it for free online, as Grossman theorizes? The popularity may decline but I don’t see it going away completely. Especially with cell phones becoming smaller and cheaper with each passing year. Sure you can get free sexual services but will it satisfy? There’s a saying I learned from a Spanish teacher years ago that comes to mind-”What if free is often more expensive”. How many hours would someone have to spend to find someone willing to indulge their particular fantasy and do a good job of it?
She makes the point that college students are less likely to do paid phone sex. While it’s true that I don’t have many college aged clients I don’t think they’re my target audience. The bulk of my clients are middle aged or older. I guess the real question is will these college students turn to phone sex when they reach middle age? I theorize some will turn to sex workers to fulfill their needs. Perhaps new technology will change the way they communicate with said sex workers but I still think they’ll want to interact.
The book makes a good coffee table book. You can pick it up, read a few entries and then put it down again. You could read it straight through but I enjoyed randomly opening it and reading. While I don’t agree with all of her assessments-I can’t imagine email becoming obsolete. And as a knitter I know there’s a whole DIY community out there that darns socks. I know I do.
But there are some items where we’re in complete agreement-typewriters, hotel keys and lickable stamps are definitely in decline. There are cute illustrations throughout the book. They’re not needed but it makes the book fun.
From AVN: Gingrich Group Mistakenly Honors Another Adult Entrepreneur
“Dawn Rizos, owner of Dallas topless club The Lodge, was apparently so taken by the fact that Newt Gingrich’s American Solutions group had chosen to honor her as an “Entrepreneur of the Year”—complete with an invitation to dine with Newt at the Capitol Hill club next week—that she shot off the $5,000 the group needed to confirm her participation.
(snip)
But we know how this story ends because it isn’t the first time it’s happened. Tuesday, Rizos got the news from a marketing company hired by American Solutions. There had been a mistake; the invitation had been proffered in error and had to be rescinded. Everyone was terribly sorry.
Now Rizos knows how Allison Vivas of Pink Visual feels. Vivas got a nearly identical handwritten invitation, and a nearly identical brush-off, almost as if it were happening on purpose.”
I’m starting to wonder if this is happening on purpose myself. Maybe some pervert in the group thinks it’s funny to embarrass Gingrich and company this way?
—
From Carnal Nation: Your STD as a Work of Art or Warm Fuzzy
“British artist Luke Jerram has created a series of hand-blown glass sculptures of microbes, including HIV (pictured right), H1N1 influenza, and others. With these complex pieces, Jerram seeks to explore the ways that disease come to have meaning both in science and human understanding. In consultation with virologists from the University of Bristol, the artist and his assistants create designs from scientific photographs and then carefully blow the individual components for the final three-dimensional installation. Jerram describes his project as follows: “It’s great to be exploring the edges of scientific understanding and visualisation of a virus. I’m also pushing the boundaries of glassblowing… So there’s a very careful balancing act that needs to take place, between exploring current scientific knowledge and the limitations of glassblowing techniques.” Watch a video of the artist at work after the jump.”
The article also mentions the HIV plushie. Personally, I’m creeped out by cute plushies that are actually diseases. A nurse friend of mine thinks they’re hilarious and has the small pox and flu ones.
The bloody body of Sheila Santos, 26, was found near the back entrance of her brick apartment building on Main Street. Investigators believe she was killed shortly after leaving work at 1:15 a.m. at Alex’s in Stoughton, putting her time of death between 1:30 a.m. and 2:30 a.m. At an afternoon press conference, Middlesex District Attorney Gerald T. Leone Jr. would not say how Santos had been killed or speculate about a motive.”
As thousands of old-timers celebrate national Seniors Week, those who present their seniors’ discount card at some brothels and escort services can mark the occasion in an entirely different way.
Brothels aligned with Australian Adult Entertainment will offer discounted services from October 4-11.
(snip)
“Many senior members of the community already use our member’s services, whether visiting a brothel or having an escort visit their place of residence, including aged care residential centres,” Mr Albon said.”
Seal Press sent me the book Two Is Enough: A Couple’s Guide to Living Childless by Choice by Laura S. Scott to review. I’ve always known I didn’t want children but for some reason I’ve never read a childfree book. Maybe I figured I was already decided on the children issue so why read one? But this book got my attention.
Here’s some info from the book description and press release:
“Fall in love. Get married. Have children. For most couples, marriage and children go hand in hand. And yet, the number of people choosing childlessness is on the rise. These are the childless by choice—people who have actively decided not to have children—rather than the childless by circumstance. In Two Is Enough, Laura S. Scott explores the assumptions surrounding childrearing, and explores the reasons many people are choosing to forgo this experience. Scott, founder of the Childless by Choice Project, examines the personal stories of people who have faced this decision and explores the growing trend of childlessness. Scott’s expert knowledge and analysis offer a picture of the childless by choice—who they are, why they’ve chosen to remain childless, and how they’ve had these conversations with loved ones. Honest and unapologetic, Two Is Enough recognizes the challenges of being childless in today’s society and offers suggestions on how that same society can change to make room for the childless and the childfree.
—
“I love our life, our relationship as it is, and having a child won’t enhance it.”
This is just one of the many motives Laura S. Scott uncovered in her interviews with childless by choice couples. In Two Is Enough, Scott tells her own story, as well as others’ who are joining the growing number of couples opting out of parenthood. Honest and unapologetic, Two Is Enough challenges the notion that parenthood is inevitable, or essential for well-being and happiness. For those who are childless by choice or by circumstance, Scott offers ways to manage the pressure and questions from family and strangers alike in a culture that idealizes parenthood. For everyone else, she creates a space to consider and evaluate what a childfree life really looks like.”
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #175? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
Many of my clients have tried to convince me to give them freebies. I’ve gotten pleas, half-jokes and emails all asking for a free sample.
What is it about sex work that encourages this? Is our work valued that much less? Sometimes I’ll try to educate the client. I’ll mention that I’ve never gone to the dentist and asked for a free sample. “I’m not sure your work is going to be that good. Could you give me a free filling and if I like it I’ll come back for a root canal?” That would never work.
If I owned a business and wanted a new office I wouldn’t ask the construction company for a free sample. “I’m not sure if I’ll like the new two story building you’re going to build. Could you build me a new front porch? If I like it you’ll get the contract.” Again, this wouldn’t work.
And yet, clients want sex workers to give it out for free. Some long term clients have asked me to talk “off the record”. The Fabulous Foot Slut once asked if he could stop paying because he was being such a good slut. Sigh.
It’s easier to turn down a freebie request from a new client. There’s no relationship history; there’s no fear of alienating a long term client. Often with long standing clients our roles are pretty established. They’ll often call “in character”. Injecting the reality of why I won’t talk for free can be a buzzkill.
With the FFS I tried to reject his request as gently as I could. I started off with my standard “my time is valuable” spiel. Then I pulled out the cute angle and told him if I was talking “off the record” I’d just want to talk about knitting or how cute my cat was. I threw in a girlish giggle at the end and he said ok. I’m glad he let it drop because he’s one that calls in character. That exchange was awkward and I don’t want to repeat it.
Occasionally clients try to convince me that I owe them a free call. They argue that they’ve made me cum so much that I should repay the favor off the record. I can’t tell them that I was actually folding laundry while faking my mind blowing orgasms because they might never call back. I fall back on my standard “my time is valuable” excuse.
Maybe it’s the sex part of sex work that gives the clients the idea of freebies. Do they secretly feel guilty that they have to pay for pleasure? Are these the same men who wine and dine a woman at a fancy restaurant and then expect a little action afterward? Maybe. I don’t know why clients do this. But I do know that it doesn’t just affect PSOs. I’ve talked to pro-dommes, escorts and models who have their own stories of freebie requests.
I’m not opposed to bartering or trading mind you. Clients often ask about discounts and I give them when I can. I would be more then happy to trade an in person session for something but I haven’t had the opportunity.
A few years ago a new client called. The fantasy part of the call went great for a first call. Afterward we started talking about our hobbies. He liked to ski and mentioned owning a ski condo. I like to ski too and his condo was located at a resort that has good powder. He mentioned wanting an in person session. I offered a trade. Could we swap some sessions for a stay at his condo? In my mind it was a great swap. He’d get a couple free sessions and I’d get a couple free nights at a ski condo.
Unfortunately this client freaked out. “But I don’t know you! What if you stole something?” I didn’t know how to respond. He fell silent too, perhaps realizing what he had just said. Taking a calming breath I tried to explain that I wouldn’t steal anything. I just thought we’d both benefit from the trade.
It was an awkward moment and he rushed off the phone. I never heard from him again and I’m not sure why. Did I break some kind of sex worker rule? Was he too embarrassed that he assumed I’d do something shady while at his place?
While I find phone freebie requests annoying I wouldn’t mind do a trade for an in person. Maybe a mechanic could work on my car and I could spank him later. Wouldn’t that be great? But I haven’t mentioned trading again to a client. I figure if it’s an option I’ll let the guy bring it up.
by Laura S. Scott to review. I’ve always known I didn’t want children but for some reason I’ve never read a childfree book. Maybe I figured I was already decided on the children issue so why read one? But this book got my attention.