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A new client asked if I would indulge his burp fetish. I immediately told him I could. You see, burping on command is one of my odd talents. My cousin taught me how to do it when I was twelve. She also taught me how to burp the alphabet and how to burp talk.
He said he’d call soon to talk but I haven’t heard from him since. Damn. I was looking forward to doing a call with a new fetish. Oh well.
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions at 11:22 PM CDT
Sex Worker Profile
I’m a former escort, now running Sex-Kitten.Net, a lifestyles site for women who admit that sex is a part of their lives. SK, as we affectionately call it, has many regular columnists as well as guests (both male and female). I started it nearly a decade ago!
If you’d like more of my bio, please see here.
What kind of sex work are you currently doing?
Technically I’m a writer and an editor; but I see myself as a facilitator of conversations.
Are you active in sex worker activism? If so, what are you doing?
I consider myself an activist in the sense that I work very hard to keep sex from being a dirty taboo. By keeping the dialog open and ongoing, I hope to further understanding and acceptance of sex by society. If ‘mainstream’ society doesn’t accept sex, neither sex work nor the workers will be respected.
How I do this is by facilitating conversations and by providing a forum for these conversations.
I believe that it is through conversations that women identify, scrutinize, question, confront & come to terms with their concerns & needs. As women communicate with each other from a place of mutual respect, individual as well as partner needs, insecurities, & desires are exposed & understood.
In short, and I’m not known for being succinct *wink*, I believe that having a place to share and connect, to ask and to answer, to face their own fears and see them mirrored in the insecurities of others, is a place to not only build awareness but to exercise tolerance and understanding of others.
And I help others market their adult sites, products and services as The Marketing Whore.
Similarly, by keeping an open dialog between mainstream and adult marketers, I hope to break down barriers by showing that business is business and that ethics are a part of our business (quite often more than in mainstream business).
What do you think is the best way to promote solidarity with fellow sex workers?
Honestly, I often think the largest problem currently facing sex worker solidarity is ourselves.
I hear too many sex workers discussing the differences between types of sex work and debating the definitions of sex workers ~ and not just in a marketing sense. Like the political ‘red states vs. blue states’, we are focusing on the smaller differences which keep us apart, forgetting that we have much more in common than not, and making it more difficult to come together in terms of understanding & acceptance of one another. This also makes it much more difficult to unify and work for the understanding & acceptance of sex and sex work by the public at large. But this fragmentation of our industry is also far more insidious.
When I hear one pro belittle another pro, my heart aches. When I hear one sex worker claim superiority over another, I feel quite sick to my stomach. I’m not talking about individuals with ethics problems ~ we most certainly should be calling one another out and holding one another accountable for adding to the negative stereotypes; I’m talking about the sex workers who fall for the moral arguments, believing in lines & using them to keep some sense of purity… The “I’m not that kind” thinking not only divides us, but is proof that at some level the person has fallen for and accepts that sex work is dirty (in a bad way).
Bad ethics aside, there is no bad sex work.
Higher rates do not make one sex worker more pure than another; nor do specific acts. Escorts, hookers, hos, those who work directly with flesh & fluids, are no dirtier (or cleaner) than phone sex operators who work with words. Those making or selling sex products for the purpose of sexual gratification (toys, erotic stories, porn films & publications, etc.) are no more (or less) involved in sex work than an escort, a pro Domme, a PSO, etc. Those who write non-fiction works; who create educational sex films & guides; who report on sex health issues; who fight for better reproductive rights; who push for better policies & treatment for gender issues; who treat, medicate, counsel, & create tools with which to better treat, medicate, etc. ~ they all can claim themselves sex workers, should they wish to don the scarlet letters and cloaks.
And I hope they do.
For each one of us wants sexuality to be safe, sane, consensual, and pleasurable ~ be it free or paid. Yet every time we justify our work as better, more pure, more acceptable than the work of another, or limit entrance into the movement or industry, we move away from those goals.
We are all part of the same struggle. We should be welcoming one another with open hearts as well as open minds. After all, that’s what we are asking others to do with us, with sex work.
What project(s) are you working on now?
I am an editor, not just for the website, but two book imprints:
Sex-Kitten books
Gracie Passsette Productions
I also will be writing at Women Blogging For Democrats with hopes that ’sex’ can appear as part of a political platform ~ heaven knows there are plenty of these
issues, such as reproductive health, sex education, and basic rights which are linked to gender and sexuality, which should be a part of every candidate’s platform.
—
Gracie’s comment “If ‘mainstream’ society doesn’t accept sex, neither sex work nor the workers will be respected” really hit home with me. She’s right but she’s also timely. If ‘mainstream’ society didn’t have such a stigma around sex would Jeane Palfrey still be alive today? But this idea reaches beyond her. How many murdered prostitutes might be alive today? How many women who hide their sex worker past could come out of the closet if they were free from stigma? Would sex workers be able to put their work on a resume for a ‘normal’ job without fear of discrimination? The list can go on and on.
We have a lot of work to do to get the acceptance, respect and rights we want. I believe we can get them, though I’ll admit it’s a long road. Gracie makes an excellent point about sex workers getting caught up on our smaller differences. It’s a trap many activist groups fall into. Focusing on our similarities instead of our differences is vital.
I like to focus on the little details that we share in common. I was just talking to Jesse Cox earlier tonight. We were laughing about how our clients want to buy our expensive panties. She never sells the panties she wears on stage and I don’t sell the panties I wear in photos. We’ve carefully picked them to coordinate with our work clothes. Getting rid of the panties would ruin a good outfit. Though she strips and I do phone sex we find a lot of similarities in our work.
She comments that “We are all part of the same struggle. We should be welcoming one another with open hearts as well as open minds. After all, that’s what we are asking others to do with us, with sex work.” Well said Gracie, well said.
Sex Worker Solidarity Series
Sex Worker Solidarity: Introduction
Sex Worker Solidarity: Audacia Ray
Sex Worker Solidarity: Dallas From Babeland
Sex Worker Solidarity: Secondhand Rose
Sex Worker Solidarity: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Sex Worker Solidarity: Libertine
Sex Worker Solidarity: Jesse Cox
Sex Worker Solidarity: Amanda Brooks
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, Interviews, Sex Workers at 11:33 PM CDT
I got some great feedback for my post No Tact, a post about an especially vicious client. Because of the response, I’m adding to my Reality Check series. Originally, I was hesitant to write about asshole clients. Why? Because I enjoy being a PSO. I enjoy talking to the majority of my clients. Would bitching about my handful of asshole callers make me sound too bitter or unhappy?
But then again, I’m not the only sex worker with asshole clients. Catalina recently wrote a post called Catalina loves Real Women where she shared her experience with a rude one. Reading Catalina’s blog it’s obvious that she loves her work and, like me, enjoys most of her sessions. It is my hope that my enjoyment of being a PSO comes through, even when I get bitchy. After all, the reason I started this blog was that I wanted to write about the realities of being a sex worker, both good and bad. With that being said, let’s get to the assholes!
In my six years of PSO work I’ve only dumped two clients. (You can read about them here.) The majority of the men I talk to are nice. Even so, I can’t dump every rude guy that calls me. It comes down to the pocketbook. Asshole clients can be the most lucrative.
Why? I think it boils down to two reasons. They’re too horrible a person to get a partner in real life and many sex workers won’t put up with their crap. When they find someone willing to put up with them they’re often loyal. The Asshat Client I blogged about calls me for hours at a time, often several times a week.
Asshole clients can have quite the range. Sometimes they’re just a little annoying. I’ve had one guy who insists on calling me “nasty girl” despite the fact that I don’t do submissive calls. When he calls me “nasty girl” his voice has a creepy edge to it that just makes me cringe. But on the whole he’s tolerable and he reliably calls me twice a month.
Other times they’re an asshole but not too bad. I have a handful of guys that fall into this category. One feels guilt over his submissive fantasies. After he cums he insists on telling me that kinky people are messed up (he knows I’m kinky in my personal life) and probably need therapy to get rid of their sexual demons. Another whines and complains about the price of the call the entire call. It’s ridiculous that he pays just to complain about paying but overall it’s an easy call for me. There’s a guy who always whines that I won’t move to his state, marry him and become his mistress. His whining and complaining grates my nerves.
Then there’s the out and out super asshole clients. Asshat Client from my No Tact post falls into this category. Their behavoir may vary but it boils down to this-Super Asshole Clients push your buttons. Sometimes it’s random yelling, sometimes it’s guilt trips, sometimes it’s creepy fantasies. Often a SAC will drive me crazy and not bother another PSO in the slightest. AC is like that. I was debating dumping him while another PSO I know told me he’s a little annoying but overall a great guy.
What makes a guy a SAC to me? I have three categories.
-Random screaming. Screaming is fine if I know it’s coming in time to turn down my headset. Otherwise I can get a headache which put me in a bad mindset for the next call. I’m not talking about moaning I’m so turned on screams. Those are fine. I’m talking about the random cursing for reason “DAMN IT!” or the “AHHHHH”s out of nowhere. I know this sounds bizzare but it’s happened enough to me over the phone that it earned mentioning.
-Random rudeness. I’d rather have a guy be rude to me the entire call than be randomly rude. If I know I’m doing a call with a tough client I keep my guard up. Most of the time I’m relaxed on calls. While I don’t share too intimate of details I do like my clients to get a glimpse of the real me. On one hand it will be always be work. But on the other hand, I want to enjoy my work. So I try to have fun on calls. Keeping my guard up is not fun but sometimes necessary to prevent clients from getting under my skin. Random rudeness is hard because I find myself letting my guard down and then bam the SAC hits me with an insult and I feel shitty. Random rudeness means I have to constantly remind myself to be on guard and makes for a tiring call.
-Insulting me. I’ve heard all sorts of insults. I’m too fat, I’m too skinny. I’m too young to be a Mistress, I’m too old to be sexy. I don’t have the right breast size, hip size, shoe size, hair color, voice. I’m not dominant enough, mean enough, nice enough, sexy enough. This isn’t unique to the job. I’ve been a cashier and been insulted too. I’ve been a waitress and heard lots of crap comments.
But still I find it annoying. It irks me that some guys find it necessary to insult me. Really, what are they thinking? Great clients, superstar clients I’ll call them, get all sorts of perks. Sex workers give them a few extra minutes if possible, we email them, we put off the asshole client’s call to talk to them, we send them custom photos. If I like a client I naturally give them a better call. The Fabulous Foot Slut is one of my best clients. I’m willing to get up at 9:00am to talk to him. (Those that know me well know what a sacrifice this is.) I’d never do that for a guy that insults me. This can be likened to getting good service at your favorite restaurant. If you’re consistently nice to the waitstaff and tip well you’re going to stellar service. If you regularly berate them you risk having spit in your food.
Mind you, being annoying is different than being an asshole. One of my favorites clients has the most annoying laugh. For some reason the pitch of his laughter hurts my ears while his voice doesn’t in the slightest. It annoys me but he’s not an asshole. He’s a good guy and I just accept his laugh. Another client gets really embarrassed after cumming and hangs up immediately after orgasm. He’s so pleasant during the call I don’t consider him not saying goodbye to be rude. We all have our little annoying or irksome traits.
Superstar Clients…I like that phrase. Some of my clients are so wonderful. They could teach lessons on how to be a great client. I think a Reality Check post about Superstar Clients would make a great companion piece to this one.
Reality Check Series:
Reality Check: Getting Sick
Reality Check: Lessons Learned From Clients
Reality Check: Eating Food
Reality Check: Handling Long Calls
Reality Check: Working On Christmas
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions at 9:37 PM CDT
From the New York Times found via Boing Boing:
Possible Nazi Theme of Grand Prix Boss’s Orgy Draws Calls to Quit
“Few scandals in recent years have provoked as much anger and dismay across Europe as the saga of Max Mosley, the overseer of grand prix motor racing who made tabloid news last weekend in a front-page exposé and accompanying Web video showing him in a sadomasochistic orgy with five supposed prostitutes in a London sex “dungeon.”
But beyond the licentiousness of the episode, it was the suggestion of Nazi undertones in the role-playing during the session in a basement in London’s fashionable Chelsea district that led to demands for Mr. Mosley’s resignation as president of the Paris-based Federation Internationale de l’Automobile. Known as the F.I.A., it is the international governing body of motor sports, and has presided over the expansion of Formula One racing into one of the world’s richest sports.”
—
My first thought when reading this story was that Mosley didn’t hire hookers. You hire prostitutes to fuck you; you don’t hire them to spank you in a role play scene. For that you hire a Mistress. While some prostitutes certainly do role play in sessions, I think a prodom would be the best person for a fantasy as intense as this one.
Is it a Nazi fetish? Maybe, maybe not. I’ve done German prison fantasies that never touched on the Nazi subject. In Erectionland Germans are known for their discipline and cruelty. One client of mine likes to relive an in-person session he had with a Mistress while in Germany on business. I mostly ooh and ahh while he describes the intense thrashing she gave him. Her German cursing still turns him on years later. Another client likes to fantasy about seeing a German Mistress who toilet trains him. If he refuses to open his mouth she becomes very cruel and beats him until he cries.
Though I have never done a Nazi call I know they happen.
During my second year as a PSO I had man request one. He called and immediately asked if I was of German descent. I actually am part German so thought it was neat that someone could tell. The client then promptly apologized for being Jewish. (If this happened today I would immediately know where this was going. Back then I was so naive.)
I was completely confused. Why apologize for that? I told him he had nothing to be sorry about. Realizing I wasn’t catching on he explained that he had a taboo fantasy. He asked if he could give me a few details to see if I was comfortable with the subject matter. I said sure. (If you have a taboo fantasy and want to see a sex worker this is an excellent idea. I can’t recommend this enough.)
He wanted me to role play a German officer in the Auschwitz camp. In the fantasy I was to extremely beat and torture him. He wanted the fantasy to end by me putting him in the ovens.
I was shocked. Hell, I’m still shocked. I remember trying to comment and blubbering instead. To his credit he did not try to go into the fantasy. In a polite voice he only gave me a quick overview.
After some more blubbering on my part he explained himself more. He told me it was “survivor’s guilt”. He was born shortly after WWII ended. He didn’t understand why some of his family died in the camps and some didn’t. He couldn’t understand how God could let it happen. The power of sexual release relieved his guilt, at least temporarily. (His accent was Jewish and his voice sounded the right age for this to be true.)
This was too extreme for me. I couldn’t handle it. I told him so and he didn’t pressure me. He said he understood, thanked me for listening and hung up. By far, his is one of the most extreme fantasies I’ve ever heard. Though it freaked me out, it fulfilled something for him. A need of Mosley’s obviously got fulfilled or he wouldn’t have done his session. Many of my clients fantasies would be considered shocking and immoral if displayed to the public.
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, News at 11:58 PM CDT
“You know if you lost 10 pounds you’d look really tight.”
-Asshat client
(I nicknamed him this way before tonight’s call.)
(silence)
-me
Because really want do I say to this? Thanks?
“Hello?! Are you there?”
-Asshat uses his rude, arrogant tone that I’m all too familiar with
I explain that yes I’m still here. He demands to know why I didn’t say anything. I tell him I’m not sure how to respond to his comment.
“Well you just have to own up to the fact that it’s true. You’re 10 pounds overweight and really need to lose it if you ever want to look good. I mean you have the tits, ass and hair so you could look good.”
“Ok. I’ll keep that in mind.”
-me thinking just when I doubt he can be more of an asshole he proves me wrong
“Whatever.”
-AC who then says he’s gotta go and hangs up
His comment is ironic because last week I bought three dresses and was pleased to discover I’m a size 9. I’ve been feeling pretty buff lately.
I don’t demand my clients give me endless compliments about my appearance. But calling a PSO and insulting her looks is really bad form. What does he hope to accomplish by saying such a thing?
To further confuse matters this comment came minutes after he was discussing the tragic death of his brother. Which came minutes after he was whining and pretending to be a bad boy.
I’m fine with his fantasy though the pitch of his whines grates my eardrums. But his random meanness is really starting to get to me. We’ll be in the middle of a roleplay scene and he’ll start insulting my vocabulary telling me “no one talks like that”. After he cums he gets especially vicious. “You think you’re so clever don’t you?” he sneered when I told him we had 15 minutes left.
I’m not a heavy drinker. Usually I have a glass of red wine three or four nights a week with dinner. But lately I’ve noticed myself pouring a tall glass of wine at the start of a call with AC. It helps calm my nerves because I tense up during our talks. Though AC can go for hours I think it may be time to dump him.
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, Quote Book at 11:18 PM CDT
Last year Mr. Radical and I had a truck break. It wasn’t a crisis because it was our backup vehicle. We had been on the fence about what to do with it. The break tipped the scales in favor of selling. But winter was approaching so we decided to hold onto the vehicle until the spring when it would be a better time to sell.
Spring has come and it’s time to prep the truck to get rid of it. I decided to clean it out today. Over the winter the truck had became a temporary storage locker. Cleaning it out today I found the tell tale signs of a pack rat. I’ll spare you the details of the ensuing clean up but it was gross, nasty work.
In the midst of me cleaning up this huge mess my phone rang. Mind you I was wearing an air mask, hat, gloves and old clothes for this task. But reflex kicked in before logic and I answered the phone.
It was one of my regulars asking to arrange a call. I had at least another hour of clean up so I told him I was running an errand and couldn’t talk. He can be the whiny type and today was no exception. The pleading and the whining kicked in which did no favors to my already grouchy mood.
He kept asking what I was doing that was more important than talking to him. I should have made up an excuse like laundry or dishes. But I didn’t. Instead I told the truth. The whole gross, dirty truth of cleaning up a pack rat’s mess.
Thankfully my whiny regular took it well. Laughter replaced his pleadings. He said he understood I was in no position to talk and would call back later.
My saving grace is that I was nice while telling him. I didn’t get bitchy and I didn’t snap. But still it was pretty unprofessional. And embarrassing on my part. After the task was done I took a hot shower, washed away all the grime and resolved to behave better in the future.
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions at 11:43 PM CDT
“I’ve never told a real person this.”
-a client who calls me maybe once a year
This particular client was molested as a boy. His calls consist of me mostly listening. He has a hard time having a normal sex life as an adult and just wants a sympathetic someone to tell his troubles to. It took him a long time to tell me the details of his abuse because he had great difficulty verbalizing them. When he told me the above quote I got a little teary.
It’s clients like him that remind me how valuable and vital sex work is in this world.
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, Quote Book at 10:54 PM CDT
Sex Worker profile
I’m a native Texan who is currently a little out of water in California (the foggy part, not the sunny part). I’m someone who has been interested in sex work since 10 years old and I feel very at home within the adult industry. I’m creating a reference series for Internet escorts and am becoming involved in activism. It’s a way to try and right a lot of wrongs I’ve noticed since I was a kid.
What kind of sex work are you currently doing?
I spent my 20s as a stripper and independent Internet escort. I’m currently not engaged in sex work.
Are you active in sex worker activism? If so, what are you doing?
I’d always been curious about it, but it didn’t seem to be for me. A few months after my first book was out Jill Brenneman contacted me through MySpace and we started corresponding. She described my book (and series) as “harm reduction.” It’s an appropriate description and that got my interest. She invited me to join SWOP-East as a board member.
In July 2007 I attended (and presented at) the Desiree Alliance conference. It was a moving experience. There is no way I can let these passionate people down. Though everyone has a slightly different area of focus, the overwhelming impression is of motivated, informed people who are trying to make a difference in a positive way. There’s a lot of love among activists, even those who disagree with one another. Looking forward to the 2008 conference in Chicago!
Through SWOP-East I’ve gotten to start Pledging Action – a condom donation program for sex workers in Chile. I’ve recently joined the Desiree Alliance board. My focus there is as a liaison for SWOP-East and working to create a Media Center for sex workers through DA. (This is in the thought/planning stages, so don’t ask for specifics yet!)
My books are very much an activist statement even though they’re not overt. The idea of producing information for escorts so they can choose their work, determine their work environment and control their destiny in the safest manner is activism at a broad level. I’m all for empowering escorts as women and as sex workers.
What do you think is the best way to promote solidarity with fellow sex workers?
Since every sex worker has their own pet issues, it’s important for all of us to step back and view the big picture. The truth is, every sex worker faces the same basic social issues - only the degree and intensity changes. Those who work in criminalized fields face additional legal and social issues which are essentially the same regardless of what “class” the sex worker belongs to.
Promoting solidarity isn’t hard with blogs, discussion forums and real-live groups. When you start to feel a sense of belonging with others who understand your obstacles, it’s easy to present a united front in public even if you have disagreements in private.
Sometimes the distance of the Internet backfires and we splinter into arguments over things that matter only to us. Then it’s important to remember what I said above: we all face the same basic issues.
Promoting solidarity comes from every sex worker reaching out to another on an individual level. We’re all people-persons; otherwise we wouldn’t be sex workers. But feeling involved requires that we learn the individual. Sex workers aren’t going to feel loyalty to someone whom they only know from a mass e-mail (like current mainstream-marketing wisdom suggests). Meeting the individual sex worker isn’t hard to do and it isn’t difficult. But since there are so many sex workers it’s going to take a long time to reach everyone!
I have to add, this series is a great starting point for introducing an audience to sex workers we haven’t met before. I’ve contacted a couple of your interview subjects because of their interview here.
What project(s) are you working on now?
Too many!
Working on Book #2. The manuscript is back from the typographer and I’m proofing it before sending it to the printer. Yay! Also, working on fleshing out the outline for Book #3 and doing preliminary research (the basic outline has been in place for a couple years but this is detail-work).
Trying to promote Pledging Action and solicit condom donations. I’m not the best at this but I don’t consider it a closed issue.
Working with SWOP-East on whatever issues we have on the table. We have many things in the planning stages and hope to move forward on a lot of projects. Fundraising is a big issue right now.
Working with DA in whatever capacity I can.
Trying to promote Book#1 and myself
Writing a monthly column for EscortSupport.com
Blogging
The Notebook (the book’s blog)
After Hours (personal blog)
Bound, not Gagged (moderator and contributor)
SWOP-East (news blogging)
Amazon and MySpace blogs (my stepchildren locked in the basement)
Working on my Squidoo lenses …and a million other little things that all connect to everything above and eat my time – but you don’t want me to list everything!
—
Amanda’s comment “There’s a lot of love among activists, even those who disagree with one another.” really struck a chord with me. Since the Spitzer scandal first broke I’ve been seeing a lot of the “love among activists” that Amanda mentions. While the many stories in the mainstream press focused on portraying Kristen as a “good girl gone bad” sex worker activists were not only supporting her but creating solidarity with each other as well.
Whenever I would get enraged or depressed with the Spitzer coverage I would turn to the sex worker community online. Writer after writer was bringing up important issues, using the scandal to shine a light on our many causes. Scandals like these seem to come as regularly as the seasons but this one really brought home to me just how much solidarity and activism is really out there.
Amanda’s makes an excellent point about the online community. It does create more solidarity and bring us closer. Just like she says, we sometimes “splinter into arguments” amongst ourselves. But again and again we return to support each other because “we all face the same basic issues”. Focusing on our common grounds makes us closer and our movement stronger.
Sex Worker Solidarity Series
Sex Worker Solidarity: Introduction
Sex Worker Solidarity: Audacia Ray
Sex Worker Solidarity: Dallas From Babeland
Sex Worker Solidarity: Secondhand Rose
Sex Worker Solidarity: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Sex Worker Solidarity: Libertine
Sex Worker Solidarity: Jesse Cox
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, Interviews, Sex Workers at 11:39 PM CDT
What kind of sex work are you currently doing?
Currently I am working as an exotic dancer in a club called Centerfold in Springfield, Missouri. It’s a conservative little part of the country, so the club is very strict, ie, pasties and opaque t-back bottoms one inch thick at the back end, no see through costumes, and an 18 inch distance kept between dancers and customers at all times (to the extent that when a customer wants to tip us he has to put his money down in front of us, as we cannot take it out of his hand). This cuts way down on the money we can make– I make maybe $100 a day, whereas in looser clubs on the east coast I made $500 a day, but it also makes for a much more pleasant work environment. I’m not so angry and wary of people touching me when my shift ends at 7 pm. Also, the club itself is nice, with lit candles on the tables and steak and lobster dinners, which attracts a nicer group of customers and dancers. Oh, and it’s a family business, which is nice too. My boss makes me breakfast in the morning, and took my family’s pictures at my college graduation.
Are you active in sex worker activism? If so, what are you doing?
I like to think so. I am constantly talking to the women I work with about what their rights are both as sex workers and as women. I also volunteer for Planned Parenthood, which is of course about women’s rights specifically, but these things are so tied up with each other, the lines sometimes blur for me a little. I just wrote an article about civil rights (or lack thereof) afforded to sex workers that is featured in this month’s $pread Magazine, and I am interested in writing more and for broader audiences on this topic.
What do you think is the best way to promote solidarity with fellow sex workers?
That’s a big question, but off the top of my head, I’d have to say it’s probably not that different than the way you might go about promoting solidarity between any group or groups of people. There is a lot of competition in the field of sex work, as we’re all competing for the same guy’s wallet. There is also a lot of shame put on sex workers from people outside the industry, that I think most of us take on whether we mean to or not, and then project onto our fellow workers in an effort to make ourselves feel better, or more justified in our own work somehow. If you only do modeling and I dance on a stage, then I’m a whore and you’re ok, because I actually interact with men, while you only pose for a camera. If I work in a no touch non-nude club, and you give lap dances or show more skin, or God forbid work in porn, then you’re a whore and I’m ok, because you do more for your money than I do. In a way it’s a reflection of the classism that exists in the mainstream system, where the less actual “putting out” you can get away with for your money (whether the putting out is that of your energy or your body), the higher class and therefore better you are.
So to answer your question, I think the best way to promote unity between sex workers or anyone else, is to truly learn to love ourselves where we are, and to deflect the judgments others would put on us, rather than soaking them up and passing them along. Maybe then we will feel confident enough in ourselves to see our fellow workers as they really are: our partners in struggle, and our greatest potential allies for the procurement of better wages, fair treatment under the law, and sustainable human relationships.
What project(s) are you working on now?
Several, and I’ll list them quickly after that rant! I am a writer and visual artist outside of the world of dancing. I have a solo show at the Good Girl Art Gallery here in Springfield in June, so I am painting frantically to get ready for that. I am writing a book about the Amish based on the period of time I lived with them when I was 21 and the ongoing friendships that grew out of that. I am also in the process of publishing and distributing a series of political coloring books based on Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History of the United States,” which is endorsed by Mr. Zinn. Also, I make most of the costumes for the club I work at to supplement my income (stupid student loans…) so in between projects, I am always making panties. Right now, I’m about to go bathe my cats.
You can see most of my work at www.seejesspaint.com, and a few pieces from my next show at my Myspace page.
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Jesse’s art is beautiful. I’ve seen her art develop over the years and it is both gorgeous and powerful. Her Howard Zinn coloring book is something I plan to get for my friends’ children.
Jesse was my first sex worker friend. Years ago we hung out as hippie chicks. She taught me to crochet and entertained me with her stripper work stories. She was taking a break from stripping and I hadn’t yet become a PSO.
Later when I was back to normal society and started doing phone sex Jesse was there to listen. While my spouse and friends are supportive no one understands the work quite like a sex worker. Though we do different types of work we’ve found we have so much in common. Long before I became involved with sex worker activism Jesse and I would entertain and support each other.
Like Jesse says so many times sex workers focus on the differences in their work. Walls and boundaries are put between us. A vital part of sex worker activism is reaching across that divide and finding solidarity and common ground between workers. Though our jobs may be different we share much common ground. There is strength in this and we are stronger when we stand together.
Sex Worker Solidarity Series
Sex Worker Solidarity: Introduction
Sex Worker Solidarity: Audacia Ray
Sex Worker Solidarity: Dallas From Babeland
Sex Worker Solidarity: Secondhand Rose
Sex Worker Solidarity: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Sex Worker Solidarity: Libertine
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, Interviews, Sex Workers at 11:16 PM CST
From Wikipedia:
“Hirsutism (from Latin hirsutus = shaggy, hairy) is defined as excessive and increased hair growth in women in locations where the occurrence of terminal hair normally is minimal or absent. It refers to a male pattern of body hair (androgenic hair) and it is therefore primarily of cosmetic and psychological concern.”
While I don’t advertise myself as a hirsute I have done my share of hirsute fetish calls. This is for two reasons-I don’t shave my pussy and I’m a hippy.
Many men bemoan the current state of pornography. They hate the dyed hair, the plastic tits and the perfectly shaved pussies. I agree. It’s the reason I like retro porn like Retro Raunch or alt porn like Hippie Goddess. The women are natural looking. I prefer a hairy pussy-it’s prettier and feels sexy. Once in college I shaved off all my pussy hair and hated it. I’ve never shaven it again.
Clients that love hairy pussy do calls centering around oral worship. I go into great detail about my pussy hair-it’s length, color, texture. I describe how the hair curls around my panties because there is so much. In the fantasy the guy runs his tongue over and over my pussy hair, worshipping the hair for longer than he licks my pussy lips.
Some clients want a hairier woman. As a hippie chick I fit the bill. I talk about my hairy armpits and legs. These calls center around oral worship but it’s an overall body worship. Fantasies revolve around the client giving me a tongue bath and feeling my body hair brush against his cheeks, lips and tongue.
How hairy am I in reality? I tend to shave once a month, maybe twice. Normally I have hair but it’s more fuzzy than “gorilla girl” length. Though I never shave my pussy I do give it a trim with scissors every few months. One client with a hisuite fetish thinks he’s the luckiest hair slut in the world. Why? Because after I’ve trimmed up my pussy hair I give the clippings to him. He tells me he pours them on his face, cups them in his hands and licks them and sprinkles them over his cock while he masturbates.
Now, how’s that for reclaim, reuse, recycle?
Fetish Fridays
Fetish Fridays: Sploshing
Fetish Fridays: Robot Sex
Fetish Fridays: Humiliation
Fetish Fridays: Glory Holes
Fetish Fridays: Shoe Fetish
Fetish Fridays: Achoo!
Fetish Fridays: Tickle Fetish
Fetish Fridays: Doggy Boy
Fetish Fridays: Smoking Fetish
Fetish Fridays: Latex Love
Fetish Fridays: Furries
Fetish Fridays: Exhibitionism
Fetish Fridays: Chastity
Fetish Fridays: Pony Play
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, Fetish Fridays at 9:21 AM CST
