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October 2nd, 2009


Many of my clients have tried to convince me to give them freebies. I’ve gotten pleas, half-jokes and emails all asking for a free sample.

What is it about sex work that encourages this? Is our work valued that much less? Sometimes I’ll try to educate the client. I’ll mention that I’ve never gone to the dentist and asked for a free sample. “I’m not sure your work is going to be that good. Could you give me a free filling and if I like it I’ll come back for a root canal?” That would never work.

If I owned a business and wanted a new office I wouldn’t ask the construction company for a free sample. “I’m not sure if I’ll like the new two story building you’re going to build. Could you build me a new front porch? If I like it you’ll get the contract.” Again, this wouldn’t work.

And yet, clients want sex workers to give it out for free. Some long term clients have asked me to talk “off the record”. The Fabulous Foot Slut once asked if he could stop paying because he was being such a good slut. Sigh.

It’s easier to turn down a freebie request from a new client. There’s no relationship history; there’s no fear of alienating a long term client. Often with long standing clients our roles are pretty established. They’ll often call “in character”. Injecting the reality of why I won’t talk for free can be a buzzkill.

With the FFS I tried to reject his request as gently as I could. I started off with my standard “my time is valuable” spiel. Then I pulled out the cute angle and told him if I was talking “off the record” I’d just want to talk about knitting or how cute my cat was. I threw in a girlish giggle at the end and he said ok. I’m glad he let it drop because he’s one that calls in character. That exchange was awkward and I don’t want to repeat it.

Occasionally clients try to convince me that I owe them a free call. They argue that they’ve made me cum so much that I should repay the favor off the record. I can’t tell them that I was actually folding laundry while faking my mind blowing orgasms because they might never call back. I fall back on my standard “my time is valuable” excuse.

Maybe it’s the sex part of sex work that gives the clients the idea of freebies. Do they secretly feel guilty that they have to pay for pleasure? Are these the same men who wine and dine a woman at a fancy restaurant and then expect a little action afterward? Maybe. I don’t know why clients do this. But I do know that it doesn’t just affect PSOs. I’ve talked to pro-dommes, escorts and models who have their own stories of freebie requests.

I’m not opposed to bartering or trading mind you. Clients often ask about discounts and I give them when I can. I would be more then happy to trade an in person session for something but I haven’t had the opportunity.

A few years ago a new client called. The fantasy part of the call went great for a first call. Afterward we started talking about our hobbies. He liked to ski and mentioned owning a ski condo. I like to ski too and his condo was located at a resort that has good powder. He mentioned wanting an in person session. I offered a trade. Could we swap some sessions for a stay at his condo? In my mind it was a great swap. He’d get a couple free sessions and I’d get a couple free nights at a ski condo.

Unfortunately this client freaked out. “But I don’t know you! What if you stole something?” I didn’t know how to respond. He fell silent too, perhaps realizing what he had just said. Taking a calming breath I tried to explain that I wouldn’t steal anything. I just thought we’d both benefit from the trade.

It was an awkward moment and he rushed off the phone. I never heard from him again and I’m not sure why. Did I break some kind of sex worker rule? Was he too embarrassed that he assumed I’d do something shady while at his place?

While I find phone freebie requests annoying I wouldn’t mind do a trade for an in person. Maybe a mechanic could work on my car and I could spank him later. Wouldn’t that be great? But I haven’t mentioned trading again to a client. I figure if it’s an option I’ll let the guy bring it up.

Posted by Vixen in PSO Confessions

This entry was posted on Friday, October 2nd, 2009 at 10:27 pm and is filed under PSO Confessions. You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

7 Responses to “Freebies”

  1. Jimbo Jones says:

    I have the feeling it’s because most people think of sex as fun and not work. They can’t establish an idea that you’re doing this purely for the cash and that the fun is a nice after-effect. Or sometimes not, as far as I’ve read of your journeys… :P

    Being in that they think it’s fun, not work, they still think you’ll get something out of it if you hand over a freebie. Thus, by calling you up and asking for a freebie, they think they’re doing you a favour, even if it’s significantly reduced from the favour they think they should be doing you.

    Possibly a good tack is “I’m here to do you a favour, but only for cash. You’re doing me no favours barring paying me for the favours I give you.” At least with new clients. Or maybe it’s not such a good idea. I’ve never been too good with people. :P

  2. Alexia says:

    I used to visit the free chats at one of the camera places. It was astounding at how many of the other free chatters were offended when the ladies went offline to do a session. It was like they owed them something for being there and chatting non-stop. Some of the women were just talkative to those that showed up as payers. The ones that seemed the best at having customers were friendly to all those that were chatting. It still amazed me how stupid sounding other non-paying visitors thought the ladies should do stuff for free.

  3. Padlocksj says:

    No, Professionals don’t give out freebies. But there are usually ways to get referals and opinions on workmanship. I found my Dentist by asking my friends who they went to. You can pre-screen a builder by seeing the work done at a previous client. Restaurants get their own reviews in the local newspaper.
    Hey! maybe I have found a new profession, the professional PSO Reviewer. Clients pay to read my reviews of PSO, organied by regions. If I become successful enough, I can take kick-backs from the PSOs. That’s one way to get a freebie.

  4. Mistress Nicole says:

    Funny thing happened to me lately.

    I have always refused to have “personal slaves” (which is like doing freebees withing BDSM).
    Now I am setting up my Sinistrycastle ( and I will be needing some extra hands.

    So this guy, a freelance chef-cook asks for a session and implies he wants a longer relationship serving me.
    Enthousiasticly I comment him (via email, in which he proudly adds his professional-cook-website) that later on I might need his services and do “personal swaps”….


    He started to anulate dates (with stupid excuses), but comming back into contact again after that, asking for other dates to do the first session…
    Just to de-confirm them later!!!

    (they will just run away once they have a responsability towards you!)

  5. Vixen says:

    JJ-Good point. The freebie requests do have a feel of “doing me a favor” even though of course it isn’t.

    Alexia-I’ve come across that too in the bdsm community. Some people have a hard time accepting the fact that I’m kinky in my personal life but am also a pro-dom.

    Padlocksj-Online reviews would be the only way to do it since guys usually don’t talk about their sex worker interactions.

    MN-Agreed! Reality and Erectionland don’t mix well.

  6. hotygirl says:

    There’s no freebies nowadays when it comes to business.. it’s hard to give a freebies, especially if you can’t trust the person and that can loose your morale as well.

  7. Vixen says:

    Hotygirl-Good point. Freebies these days are more like buy one get one free which is more like a discount.

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