Look at that smug smirk. That holier-than-thou glare. That good samaritan persona to hide his inner perversions.
Yes, Rick Santorum, the senator who forces his obsession with bestiality into the public under the guise of homophobia, has earned himself more notoriety by having his namesake become a sex term.
Santorum-the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex-has been in use for a few years now. I enjoy slipping the word into my work calls, especially if I’m talking to a conservative republican.
In case you haven’t heard of santorum here’s some history from Wikipedia:
“Savage reacted strongly to United States Senator Rick Santorum’s statements about homosexuality in an interview with the Associated Press published April 20, 2003. (See Santorum controversy for the details.) In the interview, Santorum describes homosexual acts as part of a class of deviant sexual behavior, including incest, polygamy, and bestiality, which he said threaten society and the family. Furthermore Santorum stated that he believed consenting adults do not have a Constitutional right to privacy with respect to sexual acts.
Savage was outraged by these statements. At the suggestion of a reader, Savage challenged his audience to come up with a sex-related definition for the word santorum as a satirical form of political protest for the express purpose of “memorialize[ing] the Santorum scandal […] by attaching his name to a sex act that would make his big, white teeth fall out of his big, empty head”.
After Savage published several definitions suggested by readers, a vote was taken among the readers of his column. The winning definition: “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex” was announced in the June 12, 2003 column.”
One of the easiest ways to slip the term into a call is if the client wants to fuck himself with a dildo. I advise him to put a condom over it first so the santorum is easily cleaned up and doesn’t get onto the toy. Or if they want to give themselves an enema first I’ll tell them that’s a great idea because there won’t be any santorum to clean up afterwards.
Sometimes they don’t ask what the word means. Which is fine, it still gets the word in circulation. But if they do ask, I smile wickedly while I give the definition an abbreviated history. A lot of my callers think its funny, we have a laugh and then carry on with the call.
As for the conservative republicans, there’s a silent pause and then an “oh”. Then we return to our sex chat. In future calls they don’t bring it up and if I use the term again, I don’t explain it since they already know. I inwardly giggle though at my little subversion.
For more santorum subversion see Spreading Santorum. Although it hasn’t been updated in a long while it’s still a fun read.
Posted by Vixen in Musings, PSO Confessions
