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April 30th, 2008

Reality Check: Asshole Clients

View over Manhattan, New York

I got some great feedback for my post No Tact, a post about an especially vicious client. Because of the response, I’m adding to my Reality Check series. Originally, I was hesitant to write about asshole clients. Why? Because I enjoy being a PSO. I enjoy talking to the majority of my clients. Would bitching about my handful of asshole callers make me sound too bitter or unhappy?

But then again, I’m not the only sex worker with asshole clients. Catalina recently wrote a post called Catalina loves Real Women where she shared her experience with a rude one. Reading Catalina’s blog it’s obvious that she loves her work and, like me, enjoys most of her sessions. It is my hope that my enjoyment of being a PSO comes through, even when I get bitchy. After all, the reason I started this blog was that I wanted to write about the realities of being a sex worker, both good and bad. With that being said, let’s get to the assholes!

In my six years of PSO work I’ve only dumped two clients. (You can read about them here.) The majority of the men I talk to are nice. Even so, I can’t dump every rude guy that calls me. It comes down to the pocketbook. Asshole clients can be the most lucrative.

Why? I think it boils down to two reasons. They’re too horrible a person to get a partner in real life and many sex workers won’t put up with their crap. When they find someone willing to put up with them they’re often loyal. The Asshat Client I blogged about calls me for hours at a time, often several times a week.

Asshole clients can have quite the range. Sometimes they’re just a little annoying. I’ve had one guy who insists on calling me “nasty girl” despite the fact that I don’t do submissive calls. When he calls me “nasty girl” his voice has a creepy edge to it that just makes me cringe. But on the whole he’s tolerable and he reliably calls me twice a month.

Other times they’re an asshole but not too bad. I have a handful of guys that fall into this category. One feels guilt over his submissive fantasies. After he cums he insists on telling me that kinky people are messed up (he knows I’m kinky in my personal life) and probably need therapy to get rid of their sexual demons. Another whines and complains about the price of the call the entire call. It’s ridiculous that he pays just to complain about paying but overall it’s an easy call for me. There’s a guy who always whines that I won’t move to his state, marry him and become his mistress. His whining and complaining grates my nerves.

Then there’s the out and out super asshole clients. Asshat Client from my No Tact post falls into this category. Their behavoir may vary but it boils down to this-Super Asshole Clients push your buttons. Sometimes it’s random yelling, sometimes it’s guilt trips, sometimes it’s creepy fantasies. Often a SAC will drive me crazy and not bother another PSO in the slightest. AC is like that. I was debating dumping him while another PSO I know told me he’s a little annoying but overall a great guy.

What makes a guy a SAC to me? I have three categories.

-Random screaming. Screaming is fine if I know it’s coming in time to turn down my headset. Otherwise I can get a headache which put me in a bad mindset for the next call. I’m not talking about moaning I’m so turned on screams. Those are fine. I’m talking about the random cursing for reason “DAMN IT!” or the “AHHHHH”s out of nowhere. I know this sounds bizzare but it’s happened enough to me over the phone that it earned mentioning.

-Random rudeness. I’d rather have a guy be rude to me the entire call than be randomly rude. If I know I’m doing a call with a tough client I keep my guard up. Most of the time I’m relaxed on calls. While I don’t share too intimate of details I do like my clients to get a glimpse of the real me. On one hand it will be always be work. But on the other hand, I want to enjoy my work. So I try to have fun on calls. Keeping my guard up is not fun but sometimes necessary to prevent clients from getting under my skin. Random rudeness is hard because I find myself letting my guard down and then bam the SAC hits me with an insult and I feel shitty. Random rudeness means I have to constantly remind myself to be on guard and makes for a tiring call.

-Insulting me. I’ve heard all sorts of insults. I’m too fat, I’m too skinny. I’m too young to be a Mistress, I’m too old to be sexy. I don’t have the right breast size, hip size, shoe size, hair color, voice. I’m not dominant enough, mean enough, nice enough, sexy enough. This isn’t unique to the job. I’ve been a cashier and been insulted too. I’ve been a waitress and heard lots of crap comments.

But still I find it annoying. It irks me that some guys find it necessary to insult me. Really, what are they thinking? Great clients, superstar clients I’ll call them, get all sorts of perks. Sex workers give them a few extra minutes if possible, we email them, we put off the asshole client’s call to talk to them, we send them custom photos. If I like a client I naturally give them a better call. The Fabulous Foot Slut is one of my best clients. I’m willing to get up at 9:00am to talk to him. (Those that know me well know what a sacrifice this is.) I’d never do that for a guy that insults me. This can be likened to getting good service at your favorite restaurant. If you’re consistently nice to the waitstaff and tip well you’re going to stellar service. If you regularly berate them you risk having spit in your food.

Mind you, being annoying is different than being an asshole. One of my favorites clients has the most annoying laugh. For some reason the pitch of his laughter hurts my ears while his voice doesn’t in the slightest. It annoys me but he’s not an asshole. He’s a good guy and I just accept his laugh. Another client gets really embarrassed after cumming and hangs up immediately after orgasm. He’s so pleasant during the call I don’t consider him not saying goodbye to be rude. We all have our little annoying or irksome traits.

Superstar Clients…I like that phrase. Some of my clients are so wonderful. They could teach lessons on how to be a great client. I think a Reality Check post about Superstar Clients would make a great companion piece to this one.

Reality Check Series:
Reality Check: Getting Sick
Reality Check: Lessons Learned From Clients
Reality Check: Eating Food
Reality Check: Handling Long Calls
Reality Check: Working On Christmas

Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions at 9:37 PM CDT


April 28th, 2008

Sugasm #129

Sugasm #129

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #130? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
April Showers Bring May Flowers: Part II“As mentioned earlier, this is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome; this is also where mind over matter comes into play.”

Au revoir
“In the life of an eclectic slut, however, these are all warning signs.”

Ode to Anal: Why?
“Really, for me, it was the first, and one of my foremost, all encompassing sexual acts.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Soviet Erotica

Editor’s Choice
Catalina loves Real Women

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Outdoor spanking courtesy of Well Spanked Man.

Posted by Vixen as Sugasm at 9:13 PM CDT

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April 27th, 2008

Victoria’s Secret Is Behind This

“I want to be like the sexy underwear.”
-Fabulous Foot Slut
said while wearing his wife’s panties

Posted by Vixen as Quote Book at 10:57 PM CDT

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April 26th, 2008

Nude With Nude Sculpture

Sian with nude sculpture.

A nude model with a nude sculpture from this gallery. That’s pretty clever.

Posted by Vixen as Sexy Sensations at 11:01 PM CDT

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April 25th, 2008

Sex News Round Up

News round up

I was having a hard time deciding which sex news story to blog about today. Instead I’m trying something new and doing a news round up. Like the idea?

From the New York Post:
Kinky News Network
“CNN personality Richard Quest was busted in Central Park early yesterday with some drugs in his pocket, a rope around his neck that was tied to his genitals, and a sex toy in his boot, law-enforcement sources said.”


“Quest was initially busted for loitering, the source said. Aside from the oddly configured rope, the search also turned up a sex toy inside of his boot, and a small bag of methamphetamine in his left jacket pocket.”

And an update from The Guardian:
CNN presenter goes into rehab
“CNN’s UK-born presenter Richard Quest has embarked on a course of drug rehabilitation following his arrest last Friday in New York.

The US news broadcaster today issued a statement confirming that Quest, a familiar face on the network, had entered a “drug rehabilitation facility” on the orders of a judge following his arrest.”

From Yahoo News:
NYPD officers cleared in killing; rights leaders want probe
“Civil rights leaders demanded a federal investigation and vowed to march through the streets in protest after three police officers were cleared of all charges Friday in the killing of an unarmed man cut down in a hail of 50 bullets on his wedding day.


“Bell, a 23-year-old black man, was killed outside a seedy strip club in Queens in 2006 as he was leaving his bachelor party with two friends. The officers — undercover detectives who were investigating reports of prostitution at the club — said they thought one of the men had a gun.

The slaying heightened tensions in the city and stoked long-standing allegations of racism and excessive use of force on the part of New York City’s police, even though two of the officers charged are black.”

I’ve blogged about this trial over on the $pread Blog. The killing happened in front of a strip club and several strippers testified during this trial.

And two stories from Xbiz:
Adult Industry Attorneys Outraged Over Military Porn Bill
“Adult industry attorneys today blasted a Georgia lawmaker, who has introduced a proposal that would close a loophole and regulate further adult material sold at military exchange stores.

The Military Honor and Decency Act, introduced last week by Rep. Paul Broun, R-Ga., would amend a provision of the 1997 Defense Authorization Act that limited sales of sexually explicit material on military bases.”

This seems ridiculous to me. These soldiers are risking their lives and having to go through the hell of war. The least we can do is let them have all the jerk off material they want.

Could Adam Walsh Act Harm the Adult Biz?
“In 2006 Congress passed HR 4472, a bill that came to be known as the Adam Walsh Act, which is the short title of the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006. The law was named after the son of John Walsh, the creator and producer of the “America’s Most Wanted” television series, who was kidnapped from a shopping mall in Hollywood, Fla., and found murdered 16 days later.”

This article goes into detail about the Walsh Act, 2257 and how it’s being used to fuck with the adult industry. Good reading if you’re not familiar with these laws.

Posted by Vixen as News at 11:44 PM CDT

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April 24th, 2008

PA Voting Problems

Pennsylvania Primary Problems

From Brad Blog:
Pennsylvania Primary: E-Voting, Registration, Polling Place Problem Report Wire
“Problem reports from polling places in PA, including voting machine malfunctions and long lines, began coming in early this morning. That could be an ominous sign, given that on most Election Days, the real extent of problems, at least with voting systems, isn’t fully revealed until later, and often in the days after the election. See our report yesterday detailing concerns about e-voting equipment (though not from officials, who weren’t concerned at all) and whether there would be enough machines to go around (presuming they work at all) across Pennsylvania.”

The story above is chock full of info about voting problems. Definitely worth a read. (Though not a chipper one I’ll admit.)

Interested in our fucked up electronic voting system? Me, bitter? Whatever gave you that crazy idea? Anyway, check out Voters Unite-”A non-partisan national grassroots resource for fair and accurate elections! We believe in the power of facts.”

Posted by Vixen as News at 1:17 AM CDT

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April 23rd, 2008

Earth Day Everyday

Sunset, Cape Cod, MA

I spent yesterday away from my computer playing outside. But last night I joked with Mr. Radical by saying “Let’s celebrate Earth Day” while flicking on a light switch. Why? Because we’re on solar power.

I posted some solar power resources before but in celebration of Earth Day I’m reposting them.

Wikipedia’s Solar Energy entry
Renewable Energy Policy Project Solar page
American Solar Energy Society
Solar Today
Home Power Magazine
Back Home Magazine

Posted by Vixen as Musings at 9:31 PM CDT

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April 21st, 2008

Sugasm #128

Sugasm #128

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #129? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Fellatrices: C-u-n-n-i-l-i-n-g-u-s
“Yep, sounds like the boyfriend needs a lesson,” she affirmed. “You just need to show him where to lick.”

In Plain Sight
“She was laughing flirtatiously and he had a look of a cat that’s about to get the cream.”

“The act of suspension removed me from my ego and placed me at the still point.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself (one from the vaults)
Ten Things to Thank Porn For

Editor’s Choice
Half-Nekkid Thursday: My Hustler Debut

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Sub lyn courtesy of Long-Distance Sub.

Posted by Vixen as Sugasm at 10:22 PM CDT

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April 20th, 2008

DC Madam Found Guilty On Four Counts

Deborah Palfrey

From Raw Story via What Really Happened:
Jury finds ‘DC Madam’ guilty on four counts
“A Washington jury has convicted Deborah Jean Palfrey, who became known as the DC Madam, on four counts including money laundering and racketeering in connection with a running a prostitution ring, according to news reports.”

From the Washington Post:
Escort Service Boss Found Guilty
“A federal jury convicted Deborah Jeane Palfrey yesterday of running a Washington-area call-girl ring in the guise of “a high-end erotic fantasy service,” rejecting her argument that she was unaware for 13 years that female escorts she employed were performing sex acts with clients for money.”


“The U.S. attorney’s office said that under sentencing guidelines, Palfrey probably faces a prison term of four to six years.”


“Although lawyers in the trial said in court that Vitter, Tobias and Ullman were on their witness lists, no prominent alleged ex-clients were called to testify.”

I’ve had a busy week and completely missed this news story until Mr. Radical mentioned it. Damn. Damn damn damn damn. I just went to her website and it’s gone. “ is off line until further notice.”

This comment comes from the Raw Story:
“When a man agrees to pay $250 for 90 minutes with a woman, what do most men expect in that time?” prosecutor Daniel Butler said during closing arguments Monday. “In that context, it’s pretty clear. Most men want sex.”

I disagree. Lots of prodommes charge $300/hr and the men don’t expect sex. A stripper friend of mine was an escort for over a year and never had sex with her clients. She mostly stripped for bachelor parties but did the occasional nude photo shoot. Some men do expect sex obviously. I once did a session where the guy kept trying to inappropriately touch me. It got to the point where I had to smack his hands away. But I find the prosecutors argument here weak.

But obviously the jury didn’t. Since she was found guilty what will happen to her well publicized clients like Vitter and Tobias? The cynic in me figures nothing.

All I can think right now is damn. Damn damn damn.

Posted by Vixen as News, Sex Workers at 10:21 PM CDT

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April 19th, 2008

Clever Me

“I could seduce you with my toes alone.”

I purred the above line out to a foot fetish client. He went wild.

Posted by Vixen as Quote Book at 11:07 PM CDT


April 18th, 2008

Pope Blames Pedo Problem On Porn

Pope Benedict

(Sometimes I can’t resist a cheesy alliteration title.)

From France24:
Pope denounces American societal mores
“Pope Benedict XVI on Wednesday berated US bishops for their poor handling of the child sex scandal that has rocked the Roman Catholic church, but laid part of the blame on the breakdown of values in US society.

Benedict told a gathering of bishops they had “sometimes very badly handled” the decades-old problem of pedophile priests. But he urged efforts “to address the sin of abuse within the wider context of sexual mores.”

“What does it mean to speak of child protection when pornography and violence can be viewed in so many homes through media widely available today?” the pontiff said on the first full day of his US visit.”


“Describing clerics who sexually abuse children as “gravely immoral,” the octogenarian pope warned that the scourge of pedophilia “is found not only in your dioceses but in every sector of society.”

“It calls for a determined, collective response,” he said, but did not outline any firm action that the Vatican intended to take to purge the church of pedophile priests.”


“In his speech Wednesday, the pope did not outline any concrete steps that would be taken, but urged the bishops to give more guidance to priests, who “have experienced shame over what has occurred.”"

Grrrr. Pope Benedict is at it again. So the problem of pedo priests is decades old but porn is partly to blame? But porn wasn’t as available decades ago as it is today. Maybe it’s the way the church addresses sexuality? Maybe it’s the Madonna/Whore complex? Maybe it’s the unrealistic vow of chastity that priests have to take? Maybe it’s treating priests as if they’re asexual beings? No, no, no. Clearly it’s the evils of porn and violence that is causing, no Forcing!, those poor, poor priests to molest the children.


And to top it off the Pope doesn’t urge the guilty priests to face justice. No, they need “more guidance” instead.

One of my close friends is a gay Catholic man. When I bring up enraging arguments/decisions/comments the new Pope makes he just sighs and says “I know. I know. He’s not the best Pope.” As irked as I am about the Pope’s actions at least he’s not my spiritual leader. It must be much more frustrating to be Catholic and to think Pope Benedict is wrong.

Posted by Vixen as Political Rants, News at 11:59 PM CDT


April 17th, 2008

The Taboo Fantasy Of Max Mosley

Max Mosley

From the New York Times found via Boing Boing:
Possible Nazi Theme of Grand Prix Boss’s Orgy Draws Calls to Quit
“Few scandals in recent years have provoked as much anger and dismay across Europe as the saga of Max Mosley, the overseer of grand prix motor racing who made tabloid news last weekend in a front-page exposé and accompanying Web video showing him in a sadomasochistic orgy with five supposed prostitutes in a London sex “dungeon.”

But beyond the licentiousness of the episode, it was the suggestion of Nazi undertones in the role-playing during the session in a basement in London’s fashionable Chelsea district that led to demands for Mr. Mosley’s resignation as president of the Paris-based Federation Internationale de l’Automobile. Known as the F.I.A., it is the international governing body of motor sports, and has presided over the expansion of Formula One racing into one of the world’s richest sports.”

My first thought when reading this story was that Mosley didn’t hire hookers. You hire prostitutes to fuck you; you don’t hire them to spank you in a role play scene. For that you hire a Mistress. While some prostitutes certainly do role play in sessions, I think a prodom would be the best person for a fantasy as intense as this one.

Is it a Nazi fetish? Maybe, maybe not. I’ve done German prison fantasies that never touched on the Nazi subject. In Erectionland Germans are known for their discipline and cruelty. One client of mine likes to relive an in-person session he had with a Mistress while in Germany on business. I mostly ooh and ahh while he describes the intense thrashing she gave him. Her German cursing still turns him on years later. Another client likes to fantasy about seeing a German Mistress who toilet trains him. If he refuses to open his mouth she becomes very cruel and beats him until he cries.

Though I have never done a Nazi call I know they happen.

During my second year as a PSO I had man request one. He called and immediately asked if I was of German descent. I actually am part German so thought it was neat that someone could tell. The client then promptly apologized for being Jewish. (If this happened today I would immediately know where this was going. Back then I was so naive.)

I was completely confused. Why apologize for that? I told him he had nothing to be sorry about. Realizing I wasn’t catching on he explained that he had a taboo fantasy. He asked if he could give me a few details to see if I was comfortable with the subject matter. I said sure. (If you have a taboo fantasy and want to see a sex worker this is an excellent idea. I can’t recommend this enough.)

He wanted me to role play a German officer in the Auschwitz camp. In the fantasy I was to extremely beat and torture him. He wanted the fantasy to end by me putting him in the ovens.

I was shocked. Hell, I’m still shocked. I remember trying to comment and blubbering instead. To his credit he did not try to go into the fantasy. In a polite voice he only gave me a quick overview.

After some more blubbering on my part he explained himself more. He told me it was “survivor’s guilt”. He was born shortly after WWII ended. He didn’t understand why some of his family died in the camps and some didn’t. He couldn’t understand how God could let it happen. The power of sexual release relieved his guilt, at least temporarily. (His accent was Jewish and his voice sounded the right age for this to be true.)

This was too extreme for me. I couldn’t handle it. I told him so and he didn’t pressure me. He said he understood, thanked me for listening and hung up. By far, his is one of the most extreme fantasies I’ve ever heard. Though it freaked me out, it fulfilled something for him. A need of Mosley’s obviously got fulfilled or he wouldn’t have done his session. Many of my clients fantasies would be considered shocking and immoral if displayed to the public.

Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, News at 11:58 PM CDT


April 16th, 2008

Almost Done

The behind the scenes work is almost done here at Radical Vixen. Hopefully none of you noticed anything too wonky while stuff was being rearranged. The next task is to get my email under control. If you’ve written and haven’t heard back from me you soon will.

Posted by Vixen as Musings at 11:47 PM CDT


April 14th, 2008

Sugasm #127

Sugasm #127

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #128? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
My life as a Female
“His reply was instant: “You are a man”.”

“I found my eyes unable to leave the curves of her ass, everything else out of focus.”

Ripping yourself a new one
“What’s the most ludicrous porn scene you ever saw?”

Mr. Sugasm Himself (one from the vaults)
How to Choose an Affiliate Program

Editor’s Choice
Cream and Sugar

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Peaches courtesy of Badgirl’s Hotbox.

Posted by Vixen as Sugasm at 11:09 PM CDT

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