Recently I had the following exchange with a client:
“Do you have any kids?”-client
“No I don’t.”-me
“You’re so full of shit.”-client
Ironically he did believe that I fucked myself with a 12″ dildo and then fisted myself while cumming over his gang rape fantasy.
This call prompted me to start a new series on honesty. There’s a lot of little lies I tell my clients. I change my appearance (mostly breast size) to fit the clients tastes. I change my marital status-some guys want me to be married, to be bisexual and have a boyfriend and girlfriend or to be a slut and have lovers in the hundreds. And of course I do the trick all good PSOs do-act like the client’s fantasy is my own. I don’t think of it as lying though. To me I’m playing a character in the client’s fantasy. I change details about myself to fit his desires for my role.
But there are a few things I won’t compromise on. One of them is my childfree status. When clients ask if I have kids I always tell them I’m not having any. I just can’t pretend otherwise. Maybe it’s because I’ve been lectured countless times since I was a little girl that I would have children. This irks me endlessly and is a guaranteed way to make me not like a person. I could just say I don’t have kids. But that implies that I could someday.
It’s almost petty that I have such a knee jerk reaction to this. I can pretend that I want to drink a guy’s piss but I cannot pretend that there’s a possibility that I might breed. I suppose every sex worker has unique limits.
Most clients are cool with my answer. But some, like the one quoted above, can’t get over it. They’ll insist that I’ll change my mind blah blah blah. I find this weird. For most of the call they’ll want me to be their fantasy girl, often doing the most kinky and perverted acts, but at the end they’ll want me to be a nice, wholesome mother of two. I don’t get it.
I’ve even had clients check up on me from time to time. “Still not having kids?” they’ll ask. One client has asked me this question every December and we’ve talked for years. He always gets upset that I’m don’t have a traditional family Christmas.
One of the hardest calls I’ve done is with Breeder Dude. BD loves that I’m in my 30s and childless. He’s convinced my biological clock is ticking and I’m craving sperm. He wants me to beg him to impregnate me. “Tell me how much you want a baby. Tell me you want to get knocked up,” he’ll say.
His calls are always hard. I feel myself cringe as I beg him to become my baby daddy. BD once asked if this fantasy really turned me on. I know he wanted me to say yes. But I couldn’t. However, I didn’t want to criticize him. Though I don’t like his kink he’s certainly free to have it. I told him it wasn’t a huge turn on but that it was very interesting exploring it with him. (A totally lame answer I know!) He replied that he knew that I was desperate for a baby and that he’d knock me up real soon. Every time he calls we talk about how I need to get pregnant. He’s a nice enough client but there’s a part of me that’s glad he only calls once every few months.
A funny tangent to BD-When I was first talking to him I had left my office door open. Mr. Radical heard me begging for a baby and poked his head in. The look of utter WTF on his face was so funny I had to keep muting myself because I couldn’t stop laughing.
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions at 9:57 PM CST