Awhile back Sam Sugar wrote about how to get a killer lap dance. This inspired me to write about how to get great phone sex.
Note: This is written from the perspective of a phone sex operator. I’ve been working the phones several years now. Also, I’m assuming the pso is female and the customer is male. I know that’s not true 100% of the time but most of my callers are male so I’m writing what I know.
-Budget yourself
This is one of the most vital parts of preplanning you can do. Nothing kills the mood more than running out of funds mid call. Figure out the amount you want to spend and stick to that amount. Going over your budget may get you off in the moment but when your bill rolls around you’ll think differently.
When it’s near the end of your time if you want to cum say so. People are often surprised to learn that some callers don’t like to cum on calls. I have a handful of clients where money isn’t an option and they talk for hours until their need is fulfilled. This is a fun way to play and very prosperous on my end. But if you are on a budget time yourself.
-Be prepared
When you’re going to make your call make sure you have some private time. Be in a space that’s quiet. Turn off the radio or tv so you can concentrate on the pso’s voice. If you want to watch porn while talking that’s fine but turn down the volume so you won’t get distracted from the call.
Have you sex toys nearby. If you have to run all over the house looking for lube, butt plugs or nipple clamps while on the call you’re wasting your money.
-Research and shop around
When you call a service you will either talk to a dispatcher or a pso. The first things you need to do are find out how the service bills and what you’re allowed to talk about.
When making an inquiry call keep it short. Three to five minutes is enough time to get the information you need. If you’re not sure if this is the service you want to place calls with tell the pso thank you and you’ll think it over. If you’re new to phone sex take notes so you can compare your options.
Until the official call starts do not masturbate. I cannot stress this enough although I will refrain from typing it all in caps. When we hear a person jerking off while asking questions this screams “Pranker!” and we tend to rush you off the phone so you don’t waste any more of our time.
When you make your inquiry call the first question to ask is how the service works. Make sure you understand the billing options. It is perfectly acceptable to ask if you’re being billed right away. If you are ask if there is a dispatcher or another person you can talk to about rates without being charged.
Ask if there are any specials because there often are. If I can save a client some money I do so because it often makes them a repeat caller. While asking for discounts is acceptable haggling is not. The price is the price.
I cannot tell you what the ideal price is for phone sex. Some newbies price their services low to build up experience and clientelle. Some services are very high priced because they are specialized. A good rule of thumb is the old adage “You get what you paid for.”
Ask if any subjects are off limits. With 900 numbers there are subjects you cannot talk about because they are regulated by the FCC. Other services do not allow the more taboo subjects-incest, bestiality, scat. However, some companies are very conservative and consider crossdressing to be too taboo and will not allow the ladies to talk about it.
If you have a fetish, such as spanking, latex or strap ons, or want some kinky play it may be better to go with a service that specializes in such talk.
Sometimes the service will allow certain subjects but a pso will be uncomfortable talking about these subjects. When you’re making your inquiry call ask specifically if the woman is ok talking about a specific subject.
-Do not be a pranker or ask for a free sample
Nothing angers me more than when a guy asks for a free sample. No one goes to a dentist and asks for a free cleaning before paying for a root canal. Sex work is just that-work. Paid calls are how we pay our rent, our car insurance, our grocery bills. Asking for a free sample is insulting and rude and will most certainly Not endear you to the woman you’re talking with.
-Try several psos and several services
When you have a strong connection with a pso it makes for hot phone sex. I’d suggest doing two calls with each pso or service. This way you feel each other out and see if you click.
It’s hard to pinpoint the ingredients that make a strong connection. Sometimes I just click with callers. Other times our interests are perfectly matched and the chemistry isn’t there. While you’re calling a paid service and the pso will be accommodating to your desire, if you have a strong attraction or connection to the woman you’re talking to the call will be so much better.
-Know what you want
If you want to talk about sex and fantasies then phone sex services are for you. Many men really want to meet a woman. While some psos do meet their clients you will have to do several calls beforehand to build up trust. If you want a sexy encounter immediately you’re better off hiring an escort. If you want an in person dominance session hire a mistress. Trying to date a pso will result in money being spent on pleading and not much else.
-Think about specific details of your fantasies
The hardest calls I do are with the guys who “don’t know” what they want or say they’re “into everything”. When I hear this I do what many psos do-I launch into a generic fantasy that pleases the majority. This may be what you’re looking for. However, if you have particular tastes you will be bored by this fantasy.
-Give feedback
During the call let the pso know how you’re feeling. If I don’t know how you’re feeling I’m not going to be able to give you what you want. Groaning, moaning and lusty grunts tell me I’m going in the right direction. If you want to change the direction the fantasy is going just ask. Adding your own details will enrich the call.
A thank you at the end of the call is a very nice touch. Not many callers thank me and it’s very appreciated when one does.
-Separate the good psos from the crappy ones
I try to support my fellow sex workers as much as possible. Helping each other out is essential in this industry. If I can’t fulfill a client’s request I’ll refer him to someone I know who can. For instance, I suck at submissive calls so I pass the client on to a friend of mine who is fabulous being submissive over the phone.
However, it must be said that some psos simply suck. If you have a bad experience with someone you do not have to call them back. Try someone else in the service or try a different service altogether.
-Always remember this is a job for the pso
No matter how great the call happens to be this is still work to the pso. Even if I really like you (and I like the majority of my clients), you will always be a client. Respect her personal boundaries.
Do not ask the psos real name Just like strippers, phone sex operators work under an assumed one. Asking a woman’s “real name” will only annoy her and in worse case scenarios make her paranoid you’re a stalker. Besides you’re likely to get a fake second name that women in the industry use when asked. I have a second name I give.
Don’t try to date a pso. If you ask a pso if she’s married or is dating someone don’t expect an honest answer. I’m married but I don’t often tell my clients. Depending on the type of call it is I’m married, have a boyfriend or have a girlfriend and a boyfriend. Clients I have a good relationship with I tell them I’m married. Ironically, we often talk about married life and they often share stories about their children.
-Build a relationship
In my experience the best calls are the ones where the client and I have a good working relationship. We’ve talked several times and he’s opened up enough that I can deliver the type of fantasy or play he’s truly craving.
Some men have been calling me for years. We will always have a business relationship but I feel close to them in some respects. When you are comfortable with someone you open up and share those deep desires you’ve been harboring. You can also feel safe with the pso and start exploring things you would never do on your own such as nipple clamps or dildo play.
Building a phone relationship takes time and money. However, all of my really great calls have been with my regular callers.
-Chat about real life occasionally
There are men who have called me for years but I don’t know a thing about them. As soon as we start the call we’re in the fantasy. When they cum they hang up. This is fine and works well for them because they keep calling back.
However, if you want to get on a psos good side chat a little with her before or after the fantasy talk. A few minutes of small talk really builds a relationship. Ask what movies she’s seen lately or the latest book she’s reading.
Want to earn real brownie points? Ask her how calls have been or what kind of calls she’s been getting. Not every guy wants to break the fantasy relationship we’ve created. But the guys that acknowledge this is a job and ask about weird or funny calls get on my good side. Note: a pso should never be too specific about other callers. We can relate the jist of a call without revealing the other caller’s identity.
If you have a really great relationship with a pso treat her to an occasion chat call. Ask her what her hobbies are, what she does in her free time. Remember never get too personal. A conversation call will endear you to a pso. It feels like I can relax when I’m just chatting about life.
One of my callers always asks what my latest knitting project is and every time he warms my heart. One time he even asked me to send him a picture of a scarf I had made. Did he need to do that? No. But I always put extra effort into calls with him because of it.
Some services let you tip a pso or send in a gift. Do this occasionally. I caution against overdoing it lest the pso start to depend on your gifts. But when I get an occasional gift from a caller (I’ve gotten shoes, gift certificates and fetish books) it makes me like them more and ensures I put in extra effort on future calls.
-Relax, experiment and have fun
Phone sex is a great way to experiment sexually. There’s no worries about your taboo fantasies freaking our your partner or them judging you for it. You can have wild crazy sex with no risk of disease or cheating on your partner. You can try new fantasies, experiment with sex toys and connect with others that share your sexual tastes. Or you can simply relieve some stress by having a good orgasm.
If these tips help you let me know. Good luck talking dirty.
Posted by Vixen in Musings, PSO Confessions