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September 22nd, 2008

Sex Work and Compassion: Self Hating Client

Elephant Hug

Self Hating Client’s fantasy wasn’t unusual. He had stolen a pair of his girlfriend’s used panties for the call. Initially he was hesitant to tell me. At the beginning of our conversation he’d asked me to dominate him. I asked him what he was into and was told the annoying answer of “anything you want”. That answer means I have to play psychic and guess what a client wants to hear.

He was quiet and seemed bored with the call. Occasionally he said a tired “yes Mistress” and not much else. I tried several different tactics-spanking, crossdressing, humiliation, dildo play.

The dildo struck a chord. The more I described fucking his face the more he responded. When he said “Don’t make me wear my girlfriend’s panties!” there was an excitement in his voice that had been missing before. We focused on the used panties and I could hear him sucking on the fabric. The fantasy turned into him sucking his girlfriend’s cum soaked panties while her lover fucked his ass. SHC moaned through the panties and responded with muffled grunts. After more sucking he shot his cum into the crotch. Then he sucked them once more.

Afterwards SHC said “I’m such a sick freak.” I sensed he was about to hang up.

“No you’re not,” I said quickly. I tried to explain to SHC that panty and forced bi fetishes weren’t so freaky. He countered my argument. “What woman would ever want to date a man who wants to suck panties and by fucked by her lovers?”

I had to admit he had a point. The majority of women wouldn’t-that’s why so many of these men call me. But there are women who get turned on by these kinks. I told him of an ex-roommate whose fantasy was similar to his. She positively swooned over crossdressing big burly men and her dream submissive was a cuckolded sissy.

SHC didn’t believe me so I switched tactics. I told him his fantasy wasn’t hurting anyone so it was ok. He argued that he was hurting his girlfriend because he was stealing her panties. I was quiet, thinking of something to say.

“Look,” he said, “I know I’m fucked up. I know I need to stop this or my girlfriend will find out and dump me. I just need to stop.” Then he hung up.

I’m not sure why I spoke out to SHC. Maybe it was the tone of his voice. There was such a mean, cruel inflection when he insulted himself. Lots of my clients don’t like their kinky sides and I don’t argue with them. There have been times that I’ve tried and either lost clients or caused regulars to not call back for several weeks. They call me to role play their fantasies-not to psychoanalyze them.

But sometimes I feel compelled to say something. Why should people hate their fantasies?I don’t think that’s healthy. For me, part of sex work is helping clients embrace their kinky sides. If it’s safe, sane and consensual then I say go for it. They may not change their ways but at least while we’re in the fantasy they can jump into their fetish, love it and live it for a short while. That’s what I tried to convey to SHC. I hope he got the message.

Sex Work And Compassion Series
Sex Work And Compassion: Panty Tree

Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions at 11:30 PM CDT

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