From the New York Times:
Across America, Deadly Echoes of Foreign Battles
“The New York Times found 121 cases in which veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan committed a killing in this country, or were charged with one, after their return from war. In many of those cases, combat trauma and the stress of deployment — along with alcohol abuse, family discord and other attendant problems — appear to have set the stage for a tragedy that was part destruction, part self-destruction.”
The NY Times article certainly gives the impression that a ton of vets are coming home crazy and killing people. But is that really accurate? The Veterans of Foreign Wars say not so.
From the VFW:
VFW Slams NY Times for Wacko Vet Story
“The national commander of the nation’s largest organization of combat veterans is furious at the New York Times for not fact-checking the Jan. 13 article that portrays servicemembers returning from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan as mentally unstable and more likely to commit violent crimes than nonveterans.”
“This is irresponsible journalism,” said Veterans of Foreign Wars National Commander George Lisicki, a Vietnam veteran from Carteret, N.J., “because it twists facts to perpetuate a myth that combat veterans are crazy and more likely to commit violent crimes. This dishonors the service and integrity of 1.5 million servicemen and women who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan.”
(snip)
“The Times documentation of 121 potential killings out of more than 1.5 million veterans of Operation Iraqi Freedom (Iraq) and Operation Enduring Freedom (Afghanistan), divided by 6 years of conflict results in a murder rate of just 1.34 incidents per 100,000 veterans per year. That murder rate is far lower than the murder rate for the general population, demonstrating that the experiences of military service – including having served in Iraq and Afghanistan – actually made it less likely for returning veterans to commit murder once they returned home, than the general population.”
Posted by Vixen as News at 5:59 PM CST
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“I’d like to stick a straw right up your cunt and suck the juice right out of you.”
-Slurpie King
Posted by Vixen as Quote Book at 5:53 PM CST
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The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #117? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
In Case Of Fire
“His hand slid around the back of my neck and pulled me close - easily, no effort at all, letting me feel the power of his arms and the warm puff of his breath against my ear.”
It was a long night…
“I gasped as he slowly pushed in one finger, slippery with oil, and began to wiggle it and spread me open.”
Sex Worker Confessions: Gracie Passette
“But underneath it all, sex workers are all about bridging, in body & soul, word & deed, the irreconcilable differences between realities and desires.”
Mr. Sugasm Himself
The Persian Kitty Alternative
Editor’s Choice
Baker’s Birthday
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See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
Justine Joli courtesy of TGP.
Posted by Vixen as Sugasm at 6:17 PM CST
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Mr. Radical and I recently saw the Sex Workers Art Show. Wow! It rocked. I’m in the middle of reading Working Sex and on a hunch decided to see if the show would be anywhere near me. And it was. Woot!
Annie Oakley opened the show and was a great host. Before each act she gave us a little snippet about the realities of traveling or insight to the performer. You can tell this show means a lot to her. Mr. Radical and I had a wonderful time chatting with her afterwards.
She introduced Miss Dirty Martini and as soon as I saw her I knew I was going to love the Sex Workers Art Show. She came out dressed in an American flag, blond curly wig, red blindfold and holding two golden scales. Dolly Parton’s version of God Bless the USA was playing as she stripped down to a red bra and panty set stuffed with dollar bills. As “I’m proud to be an American” blared out of the speakers Miss Martini threw the money around and stripped naked. As she pulled what looked like a string of money out of her ass my sides ached I was laughing so hard. She sat on the stage, legs spread wide, and stuffed money into her mouth as Dolly sang her climatic finish. It was by far one of the most radical, the most profound, the most hilarious performance art I’ve ever seen. Miss Dirty Martini-I love your work!
Kirk Read read an open letter to Rick Hilton. He made many great points about being an escort working in hotel rooms. As a dominatrix I do many of my in person sessions in hotels and could relate to a lot of what he said. His annoyance at the horrible lighting of hotel rooms was right on.
He made a comment that struck me as very profound. Kirk was talking about the difficulty of being a sex worker and complaining about one’s job. When you complain people often say “oh you’re oppressed so why don’t you just quit”. When really we sex workers just want to complain about our job sometimes, like all people want to do. He talked about the pressure of always presenting a “happy face” of sex work to non-sex work people. “My job is to be an ambassador to the non sex working world.”
I know exactly what he means. If I’m the only sex worker a person knows then the experiences I share may be the only things that shape their opinion of the sex industry. Sometimes I hesitate to bitch about my job to some of my non sex worker friends because I think they’ll think my job is horrible. When in reality I just need to blow off some steam like every worker needs to do now and again.
The World Famous BOB made a martini with her ample 42 1/2 F breasts. I know-doesn’t that sound impressive? It was! She also talked about her time as “the worst dom ever”. She was a prodom for several years and her story of asking if the client was ok every time she smacked his ass had me laughing hard. Her combination of breasts bouncing and music is something that needs to be experienced.
Erin Markey told of her experiences as a stripper. Her story of being small breasted in an outfit meant for breasts to burst through the nipple slips had me laughing so hard I teared up. Then she moved into a song called St. Bridget that she performed partially on a stripper pole. It rocked! The song stayed in my head and I bought her CD Puppy Love: A Stripper’s Tail during intermission.
Chris Kraus read an excerpt from her novel. It was a story about her boyfriend getting arrested in a small town. The tale seemed an odd fit since it made no references to sex work at all. She was once a topless dancer so perhaps some of her other excerpts touch on sex work?
Two of the performers had the flu so couldn’t perform. Dirty Martini and The World Famous BOB did two sets to make up for it. While it was a bummer not to see Lorelei Lee and Keva I. Lee perform, the extra performances by the two amazing ladies was great.
Krylon Superstar was the last performer. He came out with a purple wig and a Madonna/80’s/lace ensemble that my sissy callers would have drooled over. His song started out with “Superpower Sissy Man” and went into describing-who else but-George Bush. As he stripped down to a duct taped g-string the words Fuck Bush were taped on his chest. The audience erupted in applause. And then came the glorious finale. As the words “from sea to shining sea” rang out of the speakers Krylon bent over in his glitter filled swimming pool and lit a sparkler that was sprouting from his ass. God it was brilliant. Brilliant! Not only was it an Amazing political commentary his act will definitely feature in future calls. (Many of my callers would love to be on stage, dressed in women’s clothing, singing and stripping off their clothes while the crowd applauds and yells their approval.)
I loved this show! It was funny, profound, political, personal and a very much needed show. We sex workers share our stories with the non sex working world to leave the anonymous realm. Giving a face and a voice to our experiences make us real. When we can be seen as people we can be seen with respect. A paragraph from the Annie Oakley’s introduction to Working Sex sums up my feelings perfectly:
“Sex workers telling stories, humanizing ourselves through the sharing of experience and insight, punctures the bloated dream of consumption without consequence. It puts a real face on the mythological creatures that are the subject of so much fantasizing and demonizing. It moves us from a weird landscape populated by the iconography of people’s fears and desires to a tangible, relatable reality; and only from there can we begin to be taken seriously as people deserving of safety, agency, and respect.”
You can see if the Tour is coming to your city here. Hell, even if they’ll be a few hours away try to make the drive to see them. It’s worth it.
Posted by Vixen as Reviews, Sex Workers at 8:24 PM CST
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I never thought that ripped stockings were sexy. But a lot of the guys I talk to think it’s a real turn on. An especially popular fantasy is where they’re a slut wearing pantyhose. I rip a whole so the stud (whose cock is invariably 10″ or longer) can fuck his “pussy” right away because said stud is too horny to wait for the slut to undress.
Posted by Vixen as Sexy Sensations at 8:15 AM CST
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Found via SXE Phil: (His videos are really funny.)
Faith-Based Diet Puts God Before Food
“Wouldn’t it be nice to lose lots of weight without even trying?
Some middle Tennesseans say they’ve done it with the help of what’s called the Weigh Down Workshop, WSMV-TV in Nashville reported.
While it works in some cases, the method of the workshop has made some question whether it is healthy.”
But wait it gets better. Not only is the “cult” word thrown around apparently some members worried if they got fat they wouldn’t get into heaven.
“However, the critic said, “There are Internet chat rooms filled with quote, ’survivors,’ people who say they’re lucky to have made it out of Remnant with their sanity intact. I think the scariest part is that the members don’t realize that they’re being controlled, that they are under really mind control in this day and age.”
A woman in California said she developed bulimia after participating in the Weigh Down Workshop and said she knew lots of others who had developed severe eating disorders as well, fearing that if they gained weight it could somehow affect their ability to go to heaven.”
—
Cashier: Would you like to Supersize that?
Customer: Hold on, I have to pray.
Posted by Vixen as News at 10:02 PM CST
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Rachel’s bio:
I’m a writer, editor, blogger, and reading series host. I mainly write erotica and nonfiction centering around sex and relationships. I’m a former sex columnist for The Village Voice, and host In The Flesh Reading Series every month in New York, and have edited 15 erotica anthologies.
What kind of sex work are you currently doing?
I was a bit surprised to be asked to participate in this interview series because I don’t really consider myself a sex worker, even though I do work in the field of sex, as a writer and editor. But I guess in the sense that I create and edit stories that people jerk off to and write about sex, I’m somewhat of a sex worker. And on a very minimal scale, I’ve done some nude modeling, but mostly for free. I’ve toyed with the idea of some kind of professional BDSM, but don’t really see that happening in my future.
Are you active in sex worker activism? If so, what are you doing?
I wouldn’t say I’m really active in sex worker activism, but I do try to keep up with political developments and what the sex workers I know are doing and support them as best I can. I think sex workers are one of the few groups it’s still perfectly okay to talk poorly about and generally stereotype and disdain en masse, which is ironic considering how many people hire sex workers. When I cover sex work, such as I did in this old Village Voice column, “Whore Pride,” and this one called “Big Bucks for Pain Sluts” on professional submissives, I try to do so in a way that doesn’t sensationalize the people doing the work and lets them speak for themselves.
What do you think is the best way to promote solidarity with fellow sex workers?
I know in my field, sex writing, what I get the most out of is just talking to people who do what I do. Even though I don’t consider myself a sex worker in the traditional sense, I do think anyone working professionally in any sex-related field is stigmatized in much the same way sex workers are. To some people, sex itself is dirty, and belongs only in the home. Once you take it out into the public arena, you face people from across the political spectrum tellling you sex is not a worthy topic of inquiry. I’ve been writing a bit on sexuality for Alternet and even there you get liberals saying, essentially, “Why is sex even an appropriate topic on a political website?”
I think it all ties together - the fact that people want to keep sex in its own neat, tidy place, and want to deny that sex workers are real, living people. I find a real disdain for sex workers, especially prostitutes and porn stars, across pop culture and even academic writing, like those are the worst of the worst professions a woman could enter. I think often in the name of feminism and trying to create more opportunities for women, some pundits don’t mind putting sex workers down and denying them their humanity. So I think two of the best ways (for all of us, sex workers and non-sex workers) to promote solidarity are to be willing to listen and learn, and keep an open mind.
What project(s) are you working on now?
I’m always editing some anthology or another - my latest releases are Sex and Candy: 22 Succulent Stories, Crossdressing: Erotic Stories, Hide and Seek, which is about exhibitionism and voyeurism, and the one I’m most excited about, my first non-fiction book, Best Sex Writing 2008. That one has some fascinating pieces about sex work, including “The Pink Ghetto” by Lux Nightmare and Melissa Gira, “Menstruation: Porn’s Last Taboo” by Trixie Fontaine and “Buying Obedience: My Visit to a Pro Submissive” by Greta Christina. It was really important to me to include sex work, from both the workers and customers’ perspectives. I think all in all sex work is still so hush hush and outside the mainstream that people don’t even know how to distinguish amongst types of sex workers or have a real sense that there is a sex workers rights movement.
I have a lot more anthologies coming out in 2008, and will be starting a podcast focusing on audio versions of my erotica, and am finishing up my first novel, Everything But… - the best way to keep track of what I’m up to is on my blog.
—
When I was sending out emails to sex workers for this series I started wondering about the definition of a sex worker. I emailed fellow psos, strippers, escorts, mistresses. But a few people I wanted to interview were in a sort of gray area. They wrote about sex, sometimes their jobs dealt with sex, but were they sex workers? I wasn’t sure if Rachel considered herself one or not. Even though she doesn’t I’m glad she wrote back because she brought up a lot of great points.
Where is the line that defines a sex worker? Does the act have to be part of a job or can it be a one time thing? What about a trade? And what acts make a sex worker? Porn stars are obviously sex workers. But A-list celebrities that do a hot sex scene are not, even though they are getting paid to portray sex for an audience. Peep show girls get paid to portray sex for an audience and are considered sex workers.
I think it comes down to personal choice. Does the individual see themself as a sex worker? When I first started pso work I didn’t. I saw myself as just talking over the phone about kinky sex. PSO work can be isolating and after a few months I started seeking out others online to talk about the work. When I found a pso forum I was exposed to the idea that my work was sex work. I don’t know why I never made the connection beforehand. But when I read another pso referring to herself as a sex worker something clicked. I knew I was one too and have identified as a sex worker myself ever since.
I think Rachel makes an excellent point about how “anyone working professionally in any sex-related field is stigmatized in much the same way sex workers are”. Sex workers, and people who work with sexuality, challenge people’s assumptions and can bring up a lot of issues-people’s personal beliefs on sex, issues in their own sex life and of course sex and politics which seems to be a timeless hot button issue. Breaking that stigma is important work for all of us.
Sex Worker Solidarity Series
Sex Worker Solidarity: Introduction
Sex Worker Solidarity: Audacia Ray
Sex Worker Solidarity: Dallas From Babeland
Sex Worker Solidarity: Secondhand Rose
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, Interviews, Sex Workers at 5:26 PM CST
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“I jack off to pictures of myself dressed as a girl.”
-new client
Posted by Vixen as Quote Book at 8:04 PM CST
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The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #116? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
Debauched nothings
“You promised me you’d give me your cock.”
Sex Trophies
“Inside the drawer are two pair of panties.”
Who gets to talk about sex?
“I was thinking the other day about who gets to talk about sex and sexuality.”
Mr. Sugasm Himself
Cashback
Editor’s Choice
The houseboy’s rebellion
More Sugasm
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See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
Aradia Ardor courtesy of My Fetish Diary.
Posted by Vixen as Sugasm at 6:10 PM CST
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I’ve had two clients remind me of relatives. The first was Fabulous Foot Slut who looks just like my Father-in-law. I wrote about him in my post When Clients Look Like Relatives. I only talked to the second client over the phone which was much less disturbing.
During my second year working the phone a man in his fifties called me. He lived in my home state. Not only that he lived about 100 miles from where my father currently lives. (I’ll call him Home State Man.) HSM was only two years older than my father. They had similar accents. They even used the same slang.
It was unnerving. HSM started telling me about his fetish and I heard my father talking. I panicked and checked that it wasn’t my dad’s number. It wasn’t of course and yet my stomach would not calm down. I could feel it doing flip flops and my throat felt clenched.
HSM was into heavy cock and ball torture and chastity. Normally I’m good at these types of calls. But my voice sounded stitted and I was simply at a loss for words. HSM was a great client. He prompted me along, indicating what he wanted to hear me say. I tried to give him a good call but all I could focus on was how he sounded just like my dad. I’d try to think of something to smack his cock with and the phrase “He sounds like my Dad, he sounds like my Dad” kept repeating itself in my head. I felt it was a lackluster call and couldn’t wait until it was over.
Surprisingly he called back. HSM was such a pleasant guy that again I tried to ignore the voice similarity. But the resemblance was too strong. I just felt wigged out the whole time talking to him. If he had sounded like a cousin or maybe an uncle then I could have dealt with it. Even with FFS’s similarity to my father in law I’ve learned to deal with. But a client sounding like my own father? I couldn’t handle it.
I realized I had to cut him off and was sad to do so. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the real reason. That seemed too cruel. Instead I made up an excuse that the cock and ball torture was too much for me and referred him to a Mistress friend who specialized in that kind of domination. He was understanding as I knew he would be.
I know HSM had the potential to become a regular client. He would have been a reliable one whose calls were predictable and easy. How do I know? I have a sort of PSO vibe. Sometimes I know a guy is a wanker, sometimes I know he’ll become a regular. It’s a hard to define quality. It’s just a “sense” that I get.
HSM called my PSO friend. It was for the best. She gets a regular client, he gets good phone and I don’t get creeped out by what sounds like my father describing needles going into the head of his penis.
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions at 7:52 PM CST
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Seal Press sent me a copy of Working Sex to review. I’ve just cracked it open and-Wow! This looks like it will be an awesome book.
From Working Sex Sex Workers Write About a Changing Industry:
“Dispelling the myth that sex workers are anything short of innovators and artists, Working Sex brings strippers, prostitutes, dommes, film stars, Internet models, and others together into a fascinating and groundbreaking collection. Featuring contributions from a vibrant community of out and proud sex workers, editor Annie Oakley showcases women who dare to take their jobs out of the shadows and into the public consciousness and examines the complexity of a sex worker’s life.
Among the contributors are Chris Kraus, reflecting on her time working in the hustle bars owned by the Jewish Mafia in the late 1970s; Michelle Tea, singing the “Ballad of Bart Starr”; and Ana Voog, describing the early days of her pioneering 24/7 online home webcam. Working Sex offers a glimpse into a changing industry, introducing readers to the messy world of sex workers and their critical insight into class, gender, labor, and sexuality in the 21st century.”
At 280 pages this book should be chock full of great sex worker stories. I’m starting it as soon as I post this. Thanks Seal Press!
Posted by Vixen as Reviews at 5:57 PM CST
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Thanks to reader Cbinsd I have an update on the Ted Klaudt rape scandal that I first blogged about in May of last year.
From Argue Leader Media:
Klaudt gets 44 years in prison
“Former state Rep. Ted Klaudt was sentenced to 44 years in prison this afternoon.
Klaudt was sentenced 11 years on each of four rape charges he was convicted of in Hughes County in late 2007.
Klaudt was convicted in a case that involved two foster daughters who were with him when he attended the 2005 and 2006 legislative sessions. He gave them physical exams in a phony scheme to sell their reproductive eggs.”
—
Thanks for the tip Cbinsd!
Posted by Vixen as News at 8:48 PM CST
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This gallery has two women dressed up as a bride and groom, pretending to frolic on their honeymoon. So, think it’s just cheesy costuming or was someone trying to be subversive and eroticize the idea of gay marriage?
Posted by Vixen as Sexy Sensations at 11:23 PM CST
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From Bloomberg:
Free Sex at Prague Brothel Tests Taboo as Reality Romps Hit Web
“If you want to watch Nick having sex with a prostitute, he’s happy to let you.
The 36-year-old bank-security technician drove eight hours from his home in Metz, France, to Big Sister, a Prague brothel where customers peruse a touch-screen menu of blondes, brunettes and redheads available for free. The catch is clients have to let their exploits be filmed and posted on the Internet.”
(snip)
“Big Sister is marrying 21st-century technology with the world’s oldest profession to profit from the public’s appetite for ever-more graphic reality TV. Since 2005, more than 15,000 men have taken up the offer of free sex in return for 15 minutes, or less, of fame, according to the brothel. Big Sister is now expanding into the U.S. with a local version of its Web site.”
What an interesting idea!
Posted by Vixen as Musings at 6:16 PM CST
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