Hey there. I wanted to remind everyone that my blog anniversary contest ends March 20th which is just five days away. Haven’t entered yet? You can do so here.
Posted by Vixen as Musings at 9:30 PM CDT
March 15th, 2008
Contest Reminder
March 14th, 2008
The Obvious Answer Is Perky
“And how are your breasts tonight?”
-new client
This question was asked in complete seriousness. I said they were good and went straight into describing my ample bossom. Most of the call was devoted to his breast fetish.
Posted by Vixen as Quote Book at 6:24 PM CDT
March 12th, 2008
Desiree Alliance Call For Presentations
Thinking about sharing an abstract, workshop, or training at the 2008 Desiree Alliance conference? Got something to teach other sex workers? Why not submit a presentation idea?
Sex Worker Conference In Chicago July 16-20, 2008
On July 16-20 of 2008, hundreds of sex workers and sex worker activists will converge on Chicago at the Desiree Alliance Conference:
“Pulling Back the Sheets: Sex, Work and Social Justice”
Deadline for submissions: Friday March 21st, 2008
Email submissions to: [email protected] or call: 1-866-525-7967 extension 702 for assistance.
All presentations will be considered, and confirmation will be provided by April 11th for all submissions.
A Proposal should include:
Title for your presentation
Affiliation with an organization or social justice movement you’d like to have listed
A short paragraph with your background and experience in sex work or the sex workers rights’ movement
A one paragraph summary of the workshop or presentation (four to eight sentences)
The time frame needed to present, whether 15 minutes, half-hour or an hour.
Please include whether or not you will need any technical support, such as a projector or AV, etc.
We are accepting practical workshops from all genders and working backgrounds including, but not limited to the following subjects:
Advocacy/Outreach, Court Support and Solidarity, Fundraising/Grant-writing, Self-Defense Training, Planning for Retirement, Protecting Our Families, Health & Safety Issues, How to Run a Business, Direct Services, Substances in the Workplace, Strategies for Alternatives to Criminalization, Policy Reform, Grassroots Organizing, Building Community, Labor Organizing, Lobbying, Media Training, Wellness Leadership from Sex Workers, Technical Training for the Web, Marketing Strategies for Organizing and Sex Work, Screening Clients, Policies related to Sex Work and, Bridging International Sex Work Communities, Workshops about Clients, Allyship with the Prison Reform Movement, Impacts of Criminalization and Incarceration on Our Community, John Schools, Impacts of End Demand and Anti-Trafficking Policies, Media Advocacy Toolkits, Federal Law and Sex Work, Issues Specific to Trans Sex Work Communities, Resisting Oppression, How to be an Ally to…. Sex Workers.
The Desiree Alliance is a diverse, volunteer-based, sex worker-led network of organizations, communities and individuals across the US working in harm reduction, direct services, political advocacy and health services for sex workers. We provide leadership development and create space for sex workers and supporters to come together to advocate for human, labor and civil rights for all workers in the sex industry.
Posted by Vixen as Activism, Sex Workers at 9:27 PM CDT
March 11th, 2008
Another Political Hypocrite
The photos above are both from the same New York Times story. The top picture I saw when I first read this story. I saved it planning to write up a blog post later. By the time I came back to the story the NYT had replaced it with the bottom photo. I find this quite telling.
From the New York Times:
Spitzer Is Linked to Prostitution Ring
“Gov. Eliot Spitzer, who gained national prominence relentlessly pursuing Wall Street wrongdoing, has been caught on a federal wiretap arranging to meet with a high-priced prostitute at a Washington hotel last month, according to a law enforcement official and a person briefed on the investigation.
The wiretap captured a man identified as Client 9 on a telephone call confirming plans to have a woman travel from New York to Washington, where he had reserved a hotel room, according to an affidavit filed in federal court in Manhattan. The person briefed on the case and the law enforcement official identified Mr. Spitzer as Client 9.
Mr. Spitzer, a first term Democrat, today made a brief public appearance during which he apologized for his behavior, and described it as a “private matter.” He did not address his political future.”
(snip)
“Though his signature issue was pursuing Wall Street misdeeds, as attorney general Mr. Spitzer also had prosecuted at least two prostitution rings as head of the state’s organized crime task force.
In one such case in 2004, Mr. Spitzer spoke with revulsion and anger after announcing the arrest of 16 people for operating a high-end prostitution ring out of Staten Island.
“This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multitiered management structure,” Mr. Spitzer said at the time. “It was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring.””
—
How ironic that shortly after I blog “There is nothing shameful about seeing a sex worker” the governor of New York comes out apologizing for his behavior. He is shamed. But should he be? Yes and no. Yes he should feel shamed for prosecuting prostitutes. But no he shouldn’t feel shamed for seeing one himself.
This story makes me feel conflicted. On one hand I enjoy whenever a hypocitical politician or public figure gets caught. When Ted Haggard got exposed I’ll admit I loved it.
But on the other hand, I’m tired of prostitutes being a scandal. Prostitutes fulfill a need and there work is vital to society. In his press conference Spitzer said the situation was a “private matter”. I agree. His meeting with prostitutes should concern only one person-his wife. If he feels shame it should be shame in dragging his wife through this mess, not in seeing a sex worker.
As these scandals pile on top of each other I find I’m tired of the rhetoric. The shamed person drags himself through the media circus. Sometimes a resignation happens and sometimes not. Remember, despite his gay scandal Larry Craig is finishing his term.
What I’d like to see come out of these scandals is progress. Prostitutes are not going to go away no matter how many politicians are caught with one. Why not talk about the need for legal prostitution? Why not talk about the difficulties prostitutes face because their work is illegal? Why not talk about the benefits to both prostitutes and their clients if prostitution were decriminalized?
Do I think Spitzer should resign? It depends. If he continues saying his actions “violates my or any sense of right or wrong” and continues his history of prosecuting prostitution rings then yes he should resign. He is prosecuting people that he has no problem with in his personal life. If he expanded on this “private matter” concept and took the position that only his wife should be concerned then no he shouldn’t resign. If he took the position that transactions between a prostitute and a client were private and if he began to advocate for the legalization of prostitution then no he shouldn’t resign.
But if past events are an indicator (as well as the NYT preferring to show Spitzer as walking away), I suspect he will resign, the media will have their scandal of the week and sex workers will have to deal with any negative impact.
Bound, Not Gagged has the best media coverage of this scandal because they are covering the story from a sex worker perspective. From them I found this Valleywag post:
Three things you can learn from Client 9
“Let’s be clear: Today’s takedown has nothing to do with stopping prostitution. It’s about bringing down the governor of New York. There are three things you need to know before tonight’s cocktail-party chatter. Most people will get them wrong — and that’s the way the media wants it.
-“Christin” won’t be found online. Don’t bother trolling the Internet Archive for her photo. The way high-end agencies work is the pics on the website aren’t the actual girls. Potential clients go in person to a madam after they make a deposit towards the first appointment. They then get to look at a photo book and decide who to hire from there.
-There’s no such thing as a “$5,500/hour escort.” Agency-based prostitutes who command these rates don’t turn hourly tricks. These are evening, overnight, and weekend appointments. Spitzer wasn’t just “paying her to leave” after a blowjob, he was time-sharing a mistress.
-Could it happen to YOU? No. You’ll never see a headline, “Prostitution Bust Nets 8 Alpha Geeks.” Federal prosecutors, who almost never make prostitution arrests, are using the Emperors Club to take down high-profile clients, just as Spitzer once did himself. Busting a bunch of techies gets nobody nothing. They’d sooner nab the newspaper editors and TV producers who’ll rush this story out today before going to their own appointments. If Jimmy Wales had hired, he’d have saved himself a lot of bad publicity.”
Posted by Vixen as Political Rants, News, Sex Workers at 12:49 AM CDT
March 10th, 2008
Sugasm #122
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #123? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
Sex and love; anger and appeasement
“And in some way, the love I had for him will never be extinguished entirely.”
The Tetrised Luggage
“Our thighs are touching and I can feel him inch forward in his seat.”
You never know who we are
“People tend to have an idea of who can/does talk about sex.”
Mr. Sugasm Himself (one from the vaults)
The Media vs. Pornography
Join the Sugasm
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
Faye Valentine courtesy of Badgirl’s Hotbox.
Posted by Vixen as Sugasm at 11:28 PM CDT
March 9th, 2008
Model In Gauzy Hoodie
March 8th, 2008
Spying On Sex Workers
A few weeks ago Amber Rhea sent me a link to this story:
One man’s battle against Midtown prostitutes and their johns
“Armed with a flashlight, a video camera and pepper spray, the longtime Midtown resident takes the MPSA’s white pickup truck on regular predawn patrols of his neighborhood’s tree-lined residential streets.
Auto break-ins are the neighborhood’s most persistent crime, he says, but definitely not his focus. Gower is at war with the neighborhood’s prostitutes. “It’s the most visible sign of disorder in the neighborhood,” he says.”
(snip)
“Activists point out that driving prostitutes out of Midtown won’t actually solve the underlying causes of prostitution. It just moves the prostitutes a few blocks away.”
Now that story was pretty upsetting. Not only is Gower harassing sex workers he’s being butt ass stupid. What if he videotapes a man cheating on his wife? The wife sees the video of her husband with his girlfriend on the side and divorces him. Couldn’t the husband sue Gower? Or say a woman gets arrested for prostitution who wasn’t a sex worker at all. Say she’s just dressed up sexy to go to a bar with friends? Couldn’t she sue him as well?
But I didn’t blog about the story right away. Life, as it tends to do, got busy and I forgot all about it.
Luckily Amber didn’t. She’s been keeping an eye on this story and just recently sent me another link. Same type of story but with another guy.
Behave, the Video Vigilante is watching
“It was a bright-blue winter morning in this Bible Belt capital, and Brian Bates was happy. The balmy weather conditions, he explained, were conducive to his peculiar line of work: public humiliation.
Steering wheel in one hand, camcorder in the other, Bates slowly drove a white Ford Explorer with tinted windows past a procession of sad-eyed prostitutes. But his camera was not trained on them; it was targeting their customers.
Bates, the self-styled Video Vigilante of Oklahoma City, sneaks up and surprises men consorting with prostitutes and then posts cleaned-up versions of the footage on the Internet — to disgrace them.”
(snip)
“What started out as the modern equivalent of a tarring and feathering in a town square has become a paycheck for Bates, a former marketing manager for a hospital. Bates still has a regular job cobbling together lists of people jailed the night before that he sells to ambulance-chasing attorneys every morning. But he’s hoping to leave that behind for a full-time career as a public humiliation professional.”
There is nothing shameful about seeing a sex worker. Sex workers of all kinds meet specific needs. Outlawing different types of sex work doesn’t make these needs magically disappear. If Gower and Bates really wanted to deal with these “problem prostitutes” how about being an activist for legalizing prostitution? If these women didn’t have to fear arrest they could work out of their homes. They wouldn’t be hanging out in these men’s neighborhoods and they wouldn’t be risking arrest. They would have better working conditions and likely make better wages.
As an actual activist I’m annoyed that they use “activist” to describe Bates. What’s worse is he’s making a job out of it. Both men have a suspicious loathing of prostitution. Sure there a lots of people that don’t like prostitution but these stories paint these two at practically foaming at the mouth with rage. This makes me suspect that they have some sexual skeletons in their closets. I could be wrong. But in the six years I’ve been working the phones I’ve developed a sort of “pervdar”. People with venom for a sexual activity or fetish often secretly desire the very thing they proclaim to despise.
If I’m right and these men one day act on their repressed desires it is my hope that someone is there to not only videotape their actions but to upload the footage to the internet. Let the public shamers get publicly shamed themselves.
Amber also pointed me to a Violet Blue story from February that relates to these stories.
Kink.com and Porn Hysteria: The Lie of Unbiased Reporting
“Steve Rubenstein and Jesse McKinley are reporters, and so we require that they report and not serve us with opinion, instead. In both articles, slanted phrases such as “dirty movies” were slipped in like a hostess silently sliding a coaster under your drink — blink and you don’t even notice it’s part of the judgmental scenery — when a more accurate term like “adult” could serve better. Rubenstein’s piece went the distance, making Kink’s employees into “manacled performers.”
But the most interesting example was the presentation of unchallenged material in the form of quotes from people on the street as anti-porn pundits — with no weigh-in from pro-porn pundits. Protesters were quoted as saying, “This neighborhood is already plagued with enough violence and prostitution as it is” and “Kink degrades the neighborhood, degrades women and offers ‘dead end’ jobs that no decent person would want.” Such statements bracket the piece — with no counter-opinions about pornography — and are presented in such a way that readers could interpret opinions as fact. Kink.com was indeed quoted — but only about their use of the space.”
Posted by Vixen as Political Rants, News, Sex Workers at 11:22 PM CST
March 7th, 2008
Normal Is Relative
“It’s nice to get back to normal.”
-This was said by a regular client who told me how nice it was to do his fantasy again. (He had purged for a few months.) His fantasy involved genital piercing, cutting, whipping, golden showers, brown showers, and…let’s just say a visit to the “petting” zoo.
As a kinkster myself sometimes I feel like a freak because I’m into spanking. But other times I feel almost vanilla. It’s all in who I compare myself to.
Posted by Vixen as Quote Book at 10:49 PM CST
March 6th, 2008
Review: Healthy and Active’s Rabbit Vibrator
Healthy and Active recently sent me their Rabbit Vibrator to review.
The core shaft in the dildo part is pretty sturdy as is the rabbit itself. The vibrations are strong. The movement of the pearls does create extra noise but overall the toy is not too loud. I’ve always thought the pearls to be a nifty idea.
One disappointing thing was the battery box. I don’t blame the Healthy and Active store. I’ve had this gripe will alot of the battery powered Rabbit Vibes I’ve run across. The vibe takes three C batteries. I prefer my vibes to take AA or AAA batts since those are the types I have around the house. Plus three C batteries are heavy. It’s not crazy heavy but it is annoying to hold while adjusting the controls.
Healthy and Active does have a rechargable Rabbit Vibrator. I often use rechargable batteries in my vibes so the idea that the vibrator itself is rechargable is exciting!
Healthy and Active shipped the item fast and had discreet packaging. They included a mini packet of lube which I think is a nice touch. Also included was a coupon for 10% off an order which was also nice.
March 5th, 2008
Clinton Camp Changes Obama’s Skin Color
Found via What Really Happened:
Was Obama darkened in Clinton ad?
“The Hillary Clinton camp has been accused of deliberately darkening the skin of opponent Barack Obama in a new ad.
The controversial footage has been compared to images shot of Obama during a debate in Cleveland last week - with critics claiming a screen grab used in the Clinton has been altered to highlight his race.
A posting on the liberal website DailyKos shows the two images side by side.”
(snip)
“Even if you accept that as normal practice, its still a dirty one, and it takes on a more charged meaning when you’re using it to attack someone in your own party whos already fighting against a lot of racism in the false Muslim smears, the posting said. This is, at best, the worst of politics as usual.”
—
Now what would the reaction be if the Obama camp featured an ad with Clinton all femmed up? They could take the angle where they make her look like a ditzy girl.
Posted by Vixen as Political Rants, News at 5:21 PM CST
March 3rd, 2008
Sugasm #121
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #122? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
Why I like sex blogs
“A few have changed the way I think about certain issues.”
A Date With Murphy
“No. NO! This is not fucking happening.”
Lust and Sassiness
“Some of the flames that your feistiness stoke within me lack subtlety, lack grace, lack restraint.”
Mr. Sugasm Himself
The Writer Strike
Editor’s Choice
An After The Date Love Letter
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
Satine Phoenix courtesy of Corset & Collar.
Posted by Vixen as Sugasm at 11:46 PM CST
March 2nd, 2008
Sex Worker Solidarity: Jesse Cox
What kind of sex work are you currently doing?
Currently I am working as an exotic dancer in a club called Centerfold in Springfield, Missouri. It’s a conservative little part of the country, so the club is very strict, ie, pasties and opaque t-back bottoms one inch thick at the back end, no see through costumes, and an 18 inch distance kept between dancers and customers at all times (to the extent that when a customer wants to tip us he has to put his money down in front of us, as we cannot take it out of his hand). This cuts way down on the money we can make– I make maybe $100 a day, whereas in looser clubs on the east coast I made $500 a day, but it also makes for a much more pleasant work environment. I’m not so angry and wary of people touching me when my shift ends at 7 pm. Also, the club itself is nice, with lit candles on the tables and steak and lobster dinners, which attracts a nicer group of customers and dancers. Oh, and it’s a family business, which is nice too. My boss makes me breakfast in the morning, and took my family’s pictures at my college graduation.
Are you active in sex worker activism? If so, what are you doing?
I like to think so. I am constantly talking to the women I work with about what their rights are both as sex workers and as women. I also volunteer for Planned Parenthood, which is of course about women’s rights specifically, but these things are so tied up with each other, the lines sometimes blur for me a little. I just wrote an article about civil rights (or lack thereof) afforded to sex workers that is featured in this month’s $pread Magazine, and I am interested in writing more and for broader audiences on this topic.
What do you think is the best way to promote solidarity with fellow sex workers?
That’s a big question, but off the top of my head, I’d have to say it’s probably not that different than the way you might go about promoting solidarity between any group or groups of people. There is a lot of competition in the field of sex work, as we’re all competing for the same guy’s wallet. There is also a lot of shame put on sex workers from people outside the industry, that I think most of us take on whether we mean to or not, and then project onto our fellow workers in an effort to make ourselves feel better, or more justified in our own work somehow. If you only do modeling and I dance on a stage, then I’m a whore and you’re ok, because I actually interact with men, while you only pose for a camera. If I work in a no touch non-nude club, and you give lap dances or show more skin, or God forbid work in porn, then you’re a whore and I’m ok, because you do more for your money than I do. In a way it’s a reflection of the classism that exists in the mainstream system, where the less actual “putting out” you can get away with for your money (whether the putting out is that of your energy or your body), the higher class and therefore better you are.
So to answer your question, I think the best way to promote unity between sex workers or anyone else, is to truly learn to love ourselves where we are, and to deflect the judgments others would put on us, rather than soaking them up and passing them along. Maybe then we will feel confident enough in ourselves to see our fellow workers as they really are: our partners in struggle, and our greatest potential allies for the procurement of better wages, fair treatment under the law, and sustainable human relationships.
What project(s) are you working on now?
Several, and I’ll list them quickly after that rant! I am a writer and visual artist outside of the world of dancing. I have a solo show at the Good Girl Art Gallery here in Springfield in June, so I am painting frantically to get ready for that. I am writing a book about the Amish based on the period of time I lived with them when I was 21 and the ongoing friendships that grew out of that. I am also in the process of publishing and distributing a series of political coloring books based on Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History of the United States,” which is endorsed by Mr. Zinn. Also, I make most of the costumes for the club I work at to supplement my income (stupid student loans…) so in between projects, I am always making panties. Right now, I’m about to go bathe my cats.
You can see most of my work at www.seejesspaint.com, and a few pieces from my next show at my Myspace page.
—
Jesse’s art is beautiful. I’ve seen her art develop over the years and it is both gorgeous and powerful. Her Howard Zinn coloring book is something I plan to get for my friends’ children.
Jesse was my first sex worker friend. Years ago we hung out as hippie chicks. She taught me to crochet and entertained me with her stripper work stories. She was taking a break from stripping and I hadn’t yet become a PSO.
Later when I was back to normal society and started doing phone sex Jesse was there to listen. While my spouse and friends are supportive no one understands the work quite like a sex worker. Though we do different types of work we’ve found we have so much in common. Long before I became involved with sex worker activism Jesse and I would entertain and support each other.
Like Jesse says so many times sex workers focus on the differences in their work. Walls and boundaries are put between us. A vital part of sex worker activism is reaching across that divide and finding solidarity and common ground between workers. Though our jobs may be different we share much common ground. There is strength in this and we are stronger when we stand together.
Sex Worker Solidarity Series
Sex Worker Solidarity: Introduction
Sex Worker Solidarity: Audacia Ray
Sex Worker Solidarity: Dallas From Babeland
Sex Worker Solidarity: Secondhand Rose
Sex Worker Solidarity: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Sex Worker Solidarity: Libertine
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, Interviews, Sex Workers at 11:16 PM CST
March 1st, 2008
Blog Anniversary Contest
Tonight my blog anniversary contest begins. What do you have a chance of winning? Lots of goodies!
First up are the ones from Babeland:
I have two ShowerBabes to give away:
A copy of Jamye Waxman’s book Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide To Masturbation:
Two tubes of Lickable Body Dust in Hazelnut Creme and Strawberry Whipped Cream flavors. These will be a combined prize.
You could also win a $50 gift certificate to spend at JT’s Stockroom.
There’s also prizes from Love Honey.
The Waterproof Rabbit Vibrator Aquagasm:
What do you have to do to enter? Just leave a comment to this post. The contest is open until March 20th.
You’ll need to enter a valid email address so I can contact you. (Your address won’t appear in the comments.) If you win you have one week to email me back with a mailing address where I can ship your prize.
I will use a random number generator to pick the winners on my anniversary date which is March 20th. Good luck and thank you to all my readers!