Skip to main content.
April 30th, 2008

Reality Check: Asshole Clients

View over Manhattan, New York

I got some great feedback for my post No Tact, a post about an especially vicious client. Because of the response, I’m adding to my Reality Check series. Originally, I was hesitant to write about asshole clients. Why? Because I enjoy being a PSO. I enjoy talking to the majority of my clients. Would bitching about my handful of asshole callers make me sound too bitter or unhappy?

But then again, I’m not the only sex worker with asshole clients. Catalina recently wrote a post called Catalina loves Real Women where she shared her experience with a rude one. Reading Catalina’s blog it’s obvious that she loves her work and, like me, enjoys most of her sessions. It is my hope that my enjoyment of being a PSO comes through, even when I get bitchy. After all, the reason I started this blog was that I wanted to write about the realities of being a sex worker, both good and bad. With that being said, let’s get to the assholes!

In my six years of PSO work I’ve only dumped two clients. (You can read about them here.) The majority of the men I talk to are nice. Even so, I can’t dump every rude guy that calls me. It comes down to the pocketbook. Asshole clients can be the most lucrative.

Why? I think it boils down to two reasons. They’re too horrible a person to get a partner in real life and many sex workers won’t put up with their crap. When they find someone willing to put up with them they’re often loyal. The Asshat Client I blogged about calls me for hours at a time, often several times a week.

Asshole clients can have quite the range. Sometimes they’re just a little annoying. I’ve had one guy who insists on calling me “nasty girl” despite the fact that I don’t do submissive calls. When he calls me “nasty girl” his voice has a creepy edge to it that just makes me cringe. But on the whole he’s tolerable and he reliably calls me twice a month.

Other times they’re an asshole but not too bad. I have a handful of guys that fall into this category. One feels guilt over his submissive fantasies. After he cums he insists on telling me that kinky people are messed up (he knows I’m kinky in my personal life) and probably need therapy to get rid of their sexual demons. Another whines and complains about the price of the call the entire call. It’s ridiculous that he pays just to complain about paying but overall it’s an easy call for me. There’s a guy who always whines that I won’t move to his state, marry him and become his mistress. His whining and complaining grates my nerves.

Then there’s the out and out super asshole clients. Asshat Client from my No Tact post falls into this category. Their behavoir may vary but it boils down to this-Super Asshole Clients push your buttons. Sometimes it’s random yelling, sometimes it’s guilt trips, sometimes it’s creepy fantasies. Often a SAC will drive me crazy and not bother another PSO in the slightest. AC is like that. I was debating dumping him while another PSO I know told me he’s a little annoying but overall a great guy.

What makes a guy a SAC to me? I have three categories.

-Random screaming. Screaming is fine if I know it’s coming in time to turn down my headset. Otherwise I can get a headache which put me in a bad mindset for the next call. I’m not talking about moaning I’m so turned on screams. Those are fine. I’m talking about the random cursing for reason “DAMN IT!” or the “AHHHHH”s out of nowhere. I know this sounds bizzare but it’s happened enough to me over the phone that it earned mentioning.

-Random rudeness. I’d rather have a guy be rude to me the entire call than be randomly rude. If I know I’m doing a call with a tough client I keep my guard up. Most of the time I’m relaxed on calls. While I don’t share too intimate of details I do like my clients to get a glimpse of the real me. On one hand it will be always be work. But on the other hand, I want to enjoy my work. So I try to have fun on calls. Keeping my guard up is not fun but sometimes necessary to prevent clients from getting under my skin. Random rudeness is hard because I find myself letting my guard down and then bam the SAC hits me with an insult and I feel shitty. Random rudeness means I have to constantly remind myself to be on guard and makes for a tiring call.

-Insulting me. I’ve heard all sorts of insults. I’m too fat, I’m too skinny. I’m too young to be a Mistress, I’m too old to be sexy. I don’t have the right breast size, hip size, shoe size, hair color, voice. I’m not dominant enough, mean enough, nice enough, sexy enough. This isn’t unique to the job. I’ve been a cashier and been insulted too. I’ve been a waitress and heard lots of crap comments.

But still I find it annoying. It irks me that some guys find it necessary to insult me. Really, what are they thinking? Great clients, superstar clients I’ll call them, get all sorts of perks. Sex workers give them a few extra minutes if possible, we email them, we put off the asshole client’s call to talk to them, we send them custom photos. If I like a client I naturally give them a better call. The Fabulous Foot Slut is one of my best clients. I’m willing to get up at 9:00am to talk to him. (Those that know me well know what a sacrifice this is.) I’d never do that for a guy that insults me. This can be likened to getting good service at your favorite restaurant. If you’re consistently nice to the waitstaff and tip well you’re going to stellar service. If you regularly berate them you risk having spit in your food.

Mind you, being annoying is different than being an asshole. One of my favorites clients has the most annoying laugh. For some reason the pitch of his laughter hurts my ears while his voice doesn’t in the slightest. It annoys me but he’s not an asshole. He’s a good guy and I just accept his laugh. Another client gets really embarrassed after cumming and hangs up immediately after orgasm. He’s so pleasant during the call I don’t consider him not saying goodbye to be rude. We all have our little annoying or irksome traits.

Superstar Clients…I like that phrase. Some of my clients are so wonderful. They could teach lessons on how to be a great client. I think a Reality Check post about Superstar Clients would make a great companion piece to this one.

Reality Check Series:
Reality Check: Getting Sick
Reality Check: Lessons Learned From Clients
Reality Check: Eating Food
Reality Check: Handling Long Calls
Reality Check: Working On Christmas


Posted by Vixen in PSO Confessions

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 30th, 2008 at 9:37 pm and is filed under PSO Confessions. You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “Reality Check: Asshole Clients”

  1. Las Vegas Courtesan says:

    I’d much rather deal with those clients on the phone than in person for sure. People screaming at me or complaining the whole time in person about the cost of everything.. the WHOLE session just puts me in the worst mood for sure. I can imagine its the same for you… people sometimes can never have fun no matter what. Doesn’t matter what you do…they are never happy with anything!

  2. Catalina Ramirez says:

    It is obvious that you enjoy your work. I know what you mean though - you don’t want to alienate potential clients, either, by thinking that you are just going to bitch about them on your blog.

    The fact is, I’ve only come across one guy that I really didn’t enjoy working with. It wasn’t an awful experience, it just wasn’t enjoyable.

    In the end, we have to be cool with ourselves to be able to handle criticism. While it hurt my feelings, it also didn’t spur a trip to the bathroom to purge the contents of my stomach - I know I’m ok.

    I get what you’re saying about the random rudeness. It is much easier to just keep your guard up. I hate it when I’m reminded that I trusted someone when I shouldn’t have.

    Much love and respect,
    Catalina

  3. Ellie says:

    This is a brave post but it needs to be said. I think that in any work or in any life situation we all deal with assholes. I feel like many of us that have clients who are readers are really lucky but the random jerks still sift their way through.

  4. Vixen says:

    LVC-I hear ya. I’ve gotten clients like that. It’s like they call in a bad mood and are determined to have a bad call no matter what I do. Those calls are tough.

    Catalina-Thanks. I think it’s the most frustrating when I’ve let my guard down with a client only to find that’s when they get rude and nasty. Thank goodness for the great clients that balance them out.

    Ellie-Thank you. When the random jerks so sift in I try to remind myself of my great callers. And that all customer service work has asshole clients. That helps.

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>