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October 2nd, 2009


Many of my clients have tried to convince me to give them freebies. I’ve gotten pleas, half-jokes and emails all asking for a free sample.

What is it about sex work that encourages this? Is our work valued that much less? Sometimes I’ll try to educate the client. I’ll mention that I’ve never gone to the dentist and asked for a free sample. “I’m not sure your work is going to be that good. Could you give me a free filling and if I like it I’ll come back for a root canal?” That would never work.

If I owned a business and wanted a new office I wouldn’t ask the construction company for a free sample. “I’m not sure if I’ll like the new two story building you’re going to build. Could you build me a new front porch? If I like it you’ll get the contract.” Again, this wouldn’t work.

And yet, clients want sex workers to give it out for free. Some long term clients have asked me to talk “off the record”. The Fabulous Foot Slut once asked if he could stop paying because he was being such a good slut. Sigh.

It’s easier to turn down a freebie request from a new client. There’s no relationship history; there’s no fear of alienating a long term client. Often with long standing clients our roles are pretty established. They’ll often call “in character”. Injecting the reality of why I won’t talk for free can be a buzzkill.

With the FFS I tried to reject his request as gently as I could. I started off with my standard “my time is valuable” spiel. Then I pulled out the cute angle and told him if I was talking “off the record” I’d just want to talk about knitting or how cute my cat was. I threw in a girlish giggle at the end and he said ok. I’m glad he let it drop because he’s one that calls in character. That exchange was awkward and I don’t want to repeat it.

Occasionally clients try to convince me that I owe them a free call. They argue that they’ve made me cum so much that I should repay the favor off the record. I can’t tell them that I was actually folding laundry while faking my mind blowing orgasms because they might never call back. I fall back on my standard “my time is valuable” excuse.

Maybe it’s the sex part of sex work that gives the clients the idea of freebies. Do they secretly feel guilty that they have to pay for pleasure? Are these the same men who wine and dine a woman at a fancy restaurant and then expect a little action afterward? Maybe. I don’t know why clients do this. But I do know that it doesn’t just affect PSOs. I’ve talked to pro-dommes, escorts and models who have their own stories of freebie requests.

I’m not opposed to bartering or trading mind you. Clients often ask about discounts and I give them when I can. I would be more then happy to trade an in person session for something but I haven’t had the opportunity.

A few years ago a new client called. The fantasy part of the call went great for a first call. Afterward we started talking about our hobbies. He liked to ski and mentioned owning a ski condo. I like to ski too and his condo was located at a resort that has good powder. He mentioned wanting an in person session. I offered a trade. Could we swap some sessions for a stay at his condo? In my mind it was a great swap. He’d get a couple free sessions and I’d get a couple free nights at a ski condo.

Unfortunately this client freaked out. “But I don’t know you! What if you stole something?” I didn’t know how to respond. He fell silent too, perhaps realizing what he had just said. Taking a calming breath I tried to explain that I wouldn’t steal anything. I just thought we’d both benefit from the trade.

It was an awkward moment and he rushed off the phone. I never heard from him again and I’m not sure why. Did I break some kind of sex worker rule? Was he too embarrassed that he assumed I’d do something shady while at his place?

While I find phone freebie requests annoying I wouldn’t mind do a trade for an in person. Maybe a mechanic could work on my car and I could spank him later. Wouldn’t that be great? But I haven’t mentioned trading again to a client. I figure if it’s an option I’ll let the guy bring it up.

Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions at 10:27 PM CDT