Martha’s Girls does a great job of making their images look dated. If I didn’t know these were present day models I might be fooled into thinking this was really a retro picture.
Posted by Vixen as Sexy Sensations at 10:21 PM CST
November 30th, 2008
Retro Swimsuits
November 29th, 2008
Sugasm #153
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #154? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
For tonight, we’ll forget who and what we are.
“I want to play with you all night.”
Please, please don’t
“It will hurt, but it will be fine”
Rough
“I want you on top of me.”
Sugasm Editor
Radical Vixen
Editor’s Choice
Sometimes You Find You Get What You Need
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
HNT courtesy of Blue-Eyed Vixen.
Posted by Vixen as Sugasm at 6:33 PM CST
November 28th, 2008
Buy Nothing Day
It’s time for one of my favorite subversive holidays-Buy Nothing Day! I’m staying home today and knitting.
Naturally Adbusters is covering the event. They have a lot of videos and articles here.
From their press release:
Buy Nothing Day Organizers Confront The Economic Meltdown Head On
“Now in its 17th year, Buy Nothing Day is celebrated every November by environmentalists, social activists and concerned citizens in over 65 countries around the world. Over the years, Buy Nothing Day (followed by Buy Nothing Christmas) has exploded into a global movement, inspiring the world’s citizens to live more simply and buy a whole lot less.
Designed to coincide with Black Friday (which this year falls on Friday, November 28) in the United States, and the unofficial start of the international holiday shopping season (Saturday, November 29), the festival takes many shapes, from relaxed family outings, to free, non-commercial street parties, to politically charged public protests, credit-card cut-ups and pranks and shenanigans of all kinds. Anyone can take part provided they spend a day without spending.
Featured by such media giants as CNN, USA Today, MSNBC, Wired, the BBC, The Age and the CBC, Buy Nothing Day has gained momentum in recent years as the climate crisis has driven people to seek out greener alternatives to unrestrained consumption.
This year, Buy Nothing Day organizers are confronting the economic meltdown head-on – asking citizens, policy makers and pundits to examine our economic crisis.”
Posted by Vixen as Musings at 12:58 PM CST
November 26th, 2008
Sex Work And Compassion: Death In A Client’s Family
A regular of mine likes to call and ramble on about his life. (I’ll name him Rambling Client for this story.) I haven’t written about him because he’s not very interesting. Despite being boring he’s a good client.
RC’s father had been sick for months. His health had been declining rapidly and he had recently been released from the hospital into hospice care. When RC called I always asked about his father. I did this for two reasons. One was because it’s the polite and compassionate thing to do.
The second reason was completely selfish. When I first started working the phones an experienced PSO gave me some good advice. She told me that whenever a client has a sick or hurt loved one always make a note about it. The next time they call make sure you ask about the person or animal. They will be touched and you will get a regular client. That may sound cold but she was right.
When I asked RC how his father was doing in hospice he choked up. Over and over he thanked me for asking, for caring. No one else had asked how his dad was-not his friends, not his coworkers, not his neighbors. I kept thinking how sad it was that people like him have to pay people like me to ask about a sick loved one.
RC is a lonely man. I believe he has depression though I doubt he’d agree. Our calls are often filled with reminisces of his glory days. That changed when his father’s health turned for the worse. He was worried about his dad. His siblings were upset too; they were stressed and bickering.
One day RC called sounding more depressed than I’ve ever heard him. “I buried my father today” was his response when I asked how his day was. He had gotten home from the funeral and called me.
He told me about his father’s death. He told me details about preparing for the funeral. He talked me about the service, how he held his sister up while she cried at the coffin, how he saw family members there he hasn’t seen in years, how the preacher talked about Heaven and Hell and how he wasn’t sure he even believed in all that anymore. Hours ticked by.
He cried while I listened. I kept thinking I shouldn’t be having this conversation with him. RC should have someone there, someone to throw their arms around him and hold him while he cried. But there’s no one. RC is single and has been for some time. His friends sound more like acquaintances than close friends. His siblings have families of their own and he has no children.
So he called me. Calls like this convince me that sex work is therapeutic. I was the comforting yet detached therapist quietly reassuring my client while he sobbed on the couch. He cried, he gulped air down between sobs, he sniffled over and over again. His father’s death has deepened his loneliness and depression.
I showed compassion by letting him talk. I reassured him that his father loved him-I don’t know that’s true but odds are it is. RC told me all about his dad and family life while I played the part of caring friend.
What strikes me most about this call is how RC needed compassion and was paying me to give it to him. Again and again I kept thinking there should have been someone there for him. But there was no one to hold him while he grieved.
It wasn’t quite sunrise when RC’s call ended but it was close. I felt physically and emotionally exhausted when it was over. Years of being a PSO have taught me to keep my emotional walls up on calls. There are clients who get off by making you sad. There are some that are the stereotypical “never do wells” who will always call you sad and depressed. To protect yourself you need to have distance from your clients.
But this doesn’t always work. There is always a client that pulls my heartstrings. We sex workers often see the harsh reality of life and love. Some of our clients live in such depression. Others have their hearts broken so wretchedly it’s a surprise they haven’t cut their wrists. Some clients, like RC, turn to us in times of grief because we’re the only ones who will listen. It is our role to play the caring, compassionate friend even though we’re not.
Sex Work And Compassion Series
Sex Work And Compassion: Panty Tree
Sex Work and Compassion: Self Hating Client
Sex Work And Compassion: I Show No Compassion
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions at 10:50 PM CST
November 25th, 2008
Turkey Day
“Right after Thanksgiving I’m going to give you a big turkey leg.”
-a relatively new client who keeps saying he’ll come visit after the holidays
Posted by Vixen as Quote Book at 10:21 PM CST
November 24th, 2008
Sex Workers’ Internet Radio Library
The Sex Workers’ Internet Radio Library (S.W.I.R.L.) recently included my interview with Deborah Jeane Palfrey on their site. What is S.W.I.R.L.?
From their site:
“Sex Workers’ Internet Radio Library (SWIRL) is a not-for-profit educational and artistic audio library dedicated to presenting audio works that give a voice to sex workers around the world by presenting their art and opinions, as well as community news and information.
To listen to items from the audio archive, select a category from the menu to your left. To listen to audio, simply click on the blue highlighted item. To download audio Mac users should Option/Click and PC users should Control/Right click on the blue highlighted item. Most audio is in MP3 format, except where noted.”
They have some good content over there so definitely check them out.
Posted by Vixen as Activism, Sex Workers at 11:01 PM CST
November 23rd, 2008
Felony Charges Against Julie Amero Finally Dropped
From Rick Green’s CT Confidential:
Let’s End Teacher’s Long Nightmare
“The unbelievable story of Julie Amero concluded quietly Friday afternoon at Superior Court in Norwich, with the state of Connecticut dropping four felony pornography charges.
Amero agreed to plead guilty to a single charge of disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor. Amero, who has been hospitalized and suffers from declining health, also surrendered her teaching license.”
(snip)
“In June of 2007, Judge Hillary B. Strackbein tossed out Amero’s conviction on charges that she intentionally caused a stream of “pop-up” pornography on the computer in her classroom and allowed students to view it. Confronted with evidence compiled by forensic computer experts, Strackbein ordered a new trial, saying the conviction was based on “erroneous” and “false information.”"
(snip)
“Late Friday afternoon Amero — who has been hospitalized for stress and heart problems since the conviction — told me she planned to spend a quiet weekend in front of the fireplace with her husband.”
—
This is such a disturbing case. Just a quick review of the events make it clear that Amero didn’t show porn to the classroom on purpose. I can understand the need for the school to investigate the matter but that’s the most that should have happened. She never should have been arrested.
Something about the phrase “hospitalized for stress” caught my attention. After doing some research I found out more details.
From Hartford Courant:
Let’s End Teacher’s Long Nightmare
“Meanwhile 3½ years after her arrest and a year after her conviction was set aside, Amero’s life continues to be the hell that began with her highly public arrest in November of 2004 on charges of risk of injury to a minor. At the time of her arrest, she was pregnant. She lost the baby.
Over the last year, I’m told, Amero has been hospitalized for stress and has lost at least one job because her employer didn’t like her arrest record. She is on medication. So she waits, declining to speak publicly, for the state to do something.”
And this is our justice system?
Posted by Vixen as News at 11:11 PM CST
November 22nd, 2008
Reinterpretation Of Bush Handshake Video
Reading the news today I saw a few sites mention the video below where world leaders supposedly refuse to shake Bush’s hand:
When Sanchez mentions he googled Bush and bully and says the results I felt annoyed. I watched the video again and noticed that not everyone on the top row shook everyone’s hand in the second row. Sanchez just wanted to make fun of Bush and only showed part of the video to make his point. This drek passes for journalism these days?
Fortunately BAGnewsNotes posted about this and showed the longer C-SPAN video. He gives an interesting reinterpretation of the video that’s worth a read as are the comments below the post.
Mind you I’m no fan of Bush but bash him when it’s deserved people, there’s plenty of opportunity.
Posted by Vixen as News at 10:54 PM CST
November 21st, 2008
Happy Gothic Sluts Model
November 20th, 2008
Sex Worker Solidarity: Craig Seymour
Sex Worker Profile
Craig Seymour was a stripper in D.C. during the ’90s. He writes about the experience in his book All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C. My review of the book is in the current issue of $pread Magazine.
What kind of sex work are you currently doing?
I’m not currently doing any sex work, unless you considering writing a memoir about being a stripper and then selling it to people as sex work : ) It’s certainly work, and both men and women have told me that they’ve gotten a little horny while reading it. So, in that way, I guess I’m still selling sex for money.
Are you active in sex worker activism? If so, what are you doing?
Not as active on the front lines as I should be or would like to be. But I do see my memoir as a bit of covert activism. I think a lot of people have a negative view of sex work because they see sex workers and their customers as stereotypes. But in my book I try to humanize sex workers and customers by openly sharing my own story and those of others who were a part of the scene. My goal was to paint a truthful, yet multi-dimensional, picture. Already, I’ve gotten emails from people who can relate my experience as a stripper to their experiences as waitresses, members of sports teams, and a whole host of other things. So hopefully I’m doing my part. I think the first step in any sort of activism is to get people to think about something differently, and hopefully my book is helping to change perceptions.
What do you think is the best way to promote solidarity with fellow sex workers?
It’s the same way you’d promote solidarity among all people — don’t judge, and try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It would always drive me crazy when my fellow strippers would look down on hustlers or porn models. I mean, it’s fine if that’s not your choice. But there’s no point in looking down on people who make the choice to do it. And most people outside of the sex industry think it’s all the same anyway. (I learned this lesson firsthand from the critical reactions to my book. Numerous reviews refer to me as a “prostitute” even though all I ever did was j/o for one guy one time; he didn’t touch me, and I didn’t touch him.)
What project(s) are you working on now?
A novel. And, yes, one character is a sex worker…
—
Though Craig downplays his activism by saying he’s not on the front lines I still think he’s doing important work. All I Could Bare does an excellent job of humanizing sex workers. There were so many times I related to his experiences and I’ve never been a stripper. I imagine he’ll have plenty of readers who have never done sex work that will still relate to his stories.
In the recent issue of $pread Craig relates a story about a waitress who related to his book. Finding connections to others is vital if we want people to see sex work as just another type of labor. If I take away the titillating details of calls I can relate to a lot of workers. Who hasn’t had a day where they didn’t want to work or a day where some piece of important equipment breaks at an inopportune time? Once a connection is made acceptance can happen.
A friend of mine is a nurse. When she found out I was a PSO she found someone she could share her weird hospital experiences with. For years she worked as an emergency room nurse. That woman has seen some weird things shoved up patients rectums. Most people might not want to hear those types of stories. But she was able to laugh about them with me. I found them very entertaining. Our work is so different but we related to each other in many ways.
The more non-sex-workers can relate to us the more support we’ll have. We can try to mobilize ourselves as much as possible but for measures like Prop K to pass we’ll need as much support as we can get.
I’m also happy that Craig is still proud and out about his sex worker past. After reading Sarah Katherine Lewis’ books (reviews here and here) it was so nice to read a sex worker reflect on his work in a positive light.
It’s interesting to hear he’s writing a novel featuring a sex worker. I’d like to see more sex worker characters. Ideally, I’d like them to be similar to the PSO character in the book Native Tongue by Carl Hiaasen. She was a PSO but it wasn’t the plot of the book-it was just a part of her character. There was no moral struggle about her work. Instead Hiaasen often used it comedic effect. This humanized sex work, just like Craig mentions.
Sex Worker Solidarity Series
Sex Worker Solidarity: Introduction
Sex Worker Solidarity: Audacia Ray
Sex Worker Solidarity: Dallas From Babeland
Sex Worker Solidarity: Secondhand Rose
Sex Worker Solidarity: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Sex Worker Solidarity: Libertine
Sex Worker Solidarity: Jesse Cox
Sex Worker Solidarity: Amanda Brooks
Sex Worker Solidarity: Gracie
Sex Worker Solidarity: Catalina
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions, Interviews, Sex Workers at 10:48 PM CST
November 18th, 2008
All I Could Bare Review In $pread
This past summer Craig Seymour sent me his book All I Could Bare. After finishing it I sent my review to $pread Magazine and it’s in the latest issue.
Speaking of $pread, it’s time for their holiday donation drive! They give 1 out of every 5 issues away free to sex workers who can’t afford to buy it. That’s great activism and I hope it continues.
Posted by Vixen as Activism, Reviews, Sex Workers at 11:26 PM CST
November 16th, 2008
Change!
Mr. Radical and I watched the election episode of South Park online. Funny stuff. The chanting of “CHANGE!” has quickly become one of our jokes. And in typical fashion we’ve already added our quirky twist to it.
Instead of saying the CHANGE! punchline we now say DIME! or NICKEL! to each other. This seems hilarious to me. It could be because it’s funny or it could be because I’ve been crazy busy on the phone and am feeling funky.
I finish a call, hang up the phone and it rings again. Repeat the last sentence over several days until you have one tired hippie. It’s great for biz but damn I need a day off and soon.
QUARTER!
Posted by Vixen as Musings at 11:51 PM CST
November 15th, 2008
Vanilla?
“The only sex I want to talk about is procreation.”
-regular client
Posted by Vixen as Quote Book at 11:55 PM CST
November 14th, 2008
A Rambling Drunk
I turned on my phone this morning before making coffee. A regular called me before I had even brushed my hair. I felt annoyed but he’s a good client. I took the call.
He’s a drunk who rambles for hours. I’ve had breakfast, lunch and dinner while talking to him.
And I’m tired. So so tired. Times like this make me think being a PSO is such a paradox. Sometime it’s the easiest work and sometimes it’s the hardest work.
Posted by Vixen as PSO Confessions at 10:03 PM CST