A friend turned me on to Ghastly’s Ghastly Comic. It’s one of the weirdest, quirkiest, unique strips I’ve come across. A recent strip made me laugh a long while. Definately one of my favorites, click for the full version:

A wife called me the other day. While these types of calls are rare, I occasionally get them. After I answered she immediately demanded to know who I was. There was a nervous, angry tone in her voice.

This is actually a pet peeve of mine. It always irks me when people call and demand to know who they’re talking to. They chose to call me after all.

“Who’s this?” I asked. Her anger broke and the nervousness won out. She said she thought I might know her husband and gave me his name.

Often when I get these calls I avoid answering any questions and refer them to the main office number. But there was something in her voice. She thought her husband was having an affair with me.

I explained that I easily recall the names of my regular callers and I didn’t recognize her husband’s name.

She asked if this was phone sex. I told her yes. There was a bit of hope in her voice when she asked, “So you don’t meet people in person?”

I said no. However, this is a lie. I’ve met a few of my clients but it is a rare occurance. Why complicate matters here? I honestly didn’t recognize his name.

I repeated that I only talked to people over the phone. I assured her that I know the names of my regular clients since they call me often and I didn’t know her husband’s name. If she found my number on her phone bill it could be he just called for information or just called and hung up.

The nervousness came back-she mumbled a quick thank you and hung up.

Ah, the pin-up girl. So cute and flirty. So seductive and sexy. While still clothed (often barely) these ladies simply drip with eroticism. And those stockings make their pictures even more delicious. They accentuate the legs making them more voluptuous than naked thighs or legs could be. Bobbie, from Pantyhose Uncovered, looks like she could be Miss March from a pin-up calendar as she glances over her silky covered legs.

I am in love with the site Hippie Goddess. A website celebrating hippies! Women that look like me-fuzzy legs, unshaven pussies, tattoos and piercings. I don’t have dreadlocks myself but think they look sexy on others. Am I the only one that fantasizes the Goddesses all live in a harmonious commune and dance around naked together?

I’m particularly a fan of how they present the women as Goddesses. Browse yourself over to the descriptions. It’s such a breath of fresh air to hear a woman being described as “The Goddess of Balance-she is the measure by which all things are placed.” Hippie Goddess celebrates the natural beauty of women and nature. Mmmmm.

The blogosphere has been filled with thought’s on the Pope’s demise. Hans Küng’s articleThe Pope’s Contradictions is a well-written critique , written shortly before the Pope’s death.

I agree with Collective Sigh’s thoughts for the next Pope:
I’m not a Catholic; not even a lapsed one. Nor am I a male. Both are requirements for those who will elect a new Pope. But minor details like that have never stopped me from offering my opinion in the past. My first choice would be a woman.

It was a woman after all who birthed and raised a boy who would one day be the leader of one of the most influential religions in human history. If Mary did that just think what a woman priest could do in these times.

However, if the Vatican picks another conservative man who represses sexuality and personal choice, here’s something amusing: the Pope has been reborn in comic book form:

From Yahoo:
Pope John Paul II is being reborn in a Colombian comic book as a superhero battling evil with an anti-Devil cape and special chastity pants.

From The Guardian:
Stone-age figurines depicting what could be the oldest pornographic scene in the world have been unearthed in Germany.

So our ancient ancestors liked to do it doggy style, eh? I enjoy when sexual discoveries like this pop up in the news. It’s like a reminder from our collective past to celebrate sex, to cherish it. Maybe I’m being selectively naïve but I like to think our primal ancestors were extremely sexually liberal before religious dogma got in the way.

Further down in the article I came across this:
Dr Stäuble, who is due to publish a paper on his findings this year, said: “After finding Adonis, we got the team to sieve every speck of soil for a whole month. We were well rewarded because we then found fragments of a female figurine of the same size.”

Oddly enough, I’m listening to Elizabeth Peters’ Lord of the Silent on audio book right now. The above reminds me of Emerson’s insistence that all soil on an archaeological dig be sifted. A man of sound mind that Emerson.

If you’re not familiar with the Amelia Peabody series I suggest you become so. Better yet, listen to it on audio book. Barbara Rosenblat does the best narrations I’ve ever heard and makes me yearn to live in England. The first book I listened to Amelia was on her way to protest for women’s suffrage. I’ve been hooked every since.

Elizabeth Peters creates a strong, independent, intelligent, witty lead female character in Amelia Peabody. She has a solid marriage, a close knit family and is successful at her work. Compared to some of today’s ‘chick lit’ and ‘chick flicks’ (weak female leads who are depressed and so desperate to find a man they are willing to throw away their careers to do so), Peters’ series is a treasure in itself.

Oh, the fluffer girl. Mention her and images of a young looking, skinny blond woman appears in the mind, kneeling before several young studs on a porno shoot. Her job is to suck their cocks, keeping them in a state of hardened arousal until the next scene is filmed.

Turns out though, the fluffer girl is a myth of horny imaginations. Pornblography once again pulls back the curtain on the porn industry and lets us peek behind. No fluffers on the set, the male stars take matters into their own hands to keep their erections performing.

Many of my callers want to be fluffers. The ones that are slutty women on the inside dream of being dressed up and taken to a gathering of men-be it a porn shoot, a frat house or just a weekend gang bang. These sluts of mine suck every cock in the room before taking them all, one by one, in their pussy or ass, milking every male dry.

I won’t reveal the reality of the fluffer girl to them though. Oh no, in some minds the fluffer girl must live on. Perhaps she needs a new title though. Goddess of Eternal Erections seems fitting.

I talked to a new client the other night and the call went perfectly. I love it when this happens. Virgin calls can be fresh, exciting, fulfilling, nerve wrecking and somewhat stressful. In a nutshell, I’m juggling several things at once.

What’s their sexual history? How did they get into their fetish? Have they done phone sex before? If so, what worked, what didn’t? I find all this out while sounding sexy, being entertaining and keeping the caller aroused. When I get enough details I transition to the fantasy part of the call.

Calls work best when I can take a fantasy and transform it into something that exceeds the caller’s expectations. I like weaving a tale, taking the fantasy up to operatic levels.

This new caller and I instantly connected. He answered my questions so thoroughly I had loads of material. He wanted to be turned into a woman. I dressed him up and told him to break out the lipstick. Slut’s like him only wear bright red lipstick-Slut Red of course.

He wanted to be fucked but was extremely shy about taking a dildo. I never know how big or small their dildos truly are so I over emphasis using lots of lube, just to be safe. Funny how so many of my sluts manage to take a 12” dildo in ten seconds or less.

Steve though, took it slowly. After a time he opened up and went at it, cumming on command as he fucked himself.

His first words after he got his breath back? “Wow. That was amazing.” He gushed and gushed how great the call was. I let him. I like it when I wow them out. It’s calls like this that make this job so much fun.